How To Start Loving Yourself Again: 20 Self-Love Ideas

Whether you’ve just gotten out of a toxic relationship, are working on healing from depression or need to remind yourself how important you are, learning how to start loving yourself again is imperative to bring positive change to your life.

You may think back to a time when you looked after yourself and naturally practiced self-love, but now it just seems to feel impossible to get back to that way of life.

There are many powerful ways to love yourself and that’s exactly what we’re covering today.

How Do I Learn To Love Myself?

First things first, is awareness and since you are here reading this article on loving yourself more you can check the box on this one.

The concept of self-love is truly about looking out for yourself and giving yourself love the way you’d love another.

Learning how to love yourself is like any habit you want to establish – it takes practice.

If you’ve been putting your own needs on the back burner for too long, taking time to focus on yourself can feel hard.

Your task: Take one of these self-love ideas above and focus on that only. When you’ve made that area of your life a habit, try another self-love exercise from this list.

Mind Body Green also has an excellent article on a 6-step process you can take to loving yourself again.

–

This post contains affiliate links, meaning I may earn a small commission if you decide to make a purchase through my links, at no extra cost to you. Read my disclosure info here.

20 Ways to Start Loving Yourself Again

As you read the below self-love ideas I want you to remember these things…

You are worthy of love and the best place to start is with you.

This self-love journey you’re on will help you in the long run – you’ll become a better version of yourself…

• Someone who looks after themselves if going through a hard time
• You’ll find different ways to be your own best friend
• You’ll create free time so you can work on your own personal growth
• You’ll turn your lack of self-love into true love creating your own happiness

1. Don’t hold on to the past 

When you constantly focus on the past, especially if it’s something that didn’t go your way, you’ll literally feel like it’s impossible to move forward. 

Focusing on past mistakes or situations can make it difficult to find happiness and do what’s important for you today – in your current situation. 

Related: How To Let Go: 7 Steps To Help You Move On

2. Look at Your Relationships & Let Go of Toxic People

Identifying someone in your life who is toxic is important and even more so letting go of that toxic individual.

If you’re unable to completely let go, see if you can limit your exposure to them. 

Now if you’re in a toxic romantic relationship with someone this can be even more challenging, especially if you still love the person.

What I would say here is to trust your gut and listen to your heart. 

If you need help getting out of an abusive relationship, here are some resources:

• US: National Domestic Violence Hotline
• Canada: Ending Violence Canada
• UK: Women’s Aid
• You can also access this list of international domestic hotlines

3. Talk to A Social Worker or Therapist

Being able to talk about your feelings and know someone is listening without judgment is an important step towards loving yourself again. 

A therapist can also help you become more aware of your negative behaviour towards yourself or areas you can focus on to love yourself more.

Talk to your family doctor about therapy resources in your area.

4. Try Some Positive Affirmations

Affirmations are positive statements or phrases we repeat to ourselves – ideally to help us feel better about a situation or to reaffirm our feelings.

We can use affirmations as a way to practice loving ourselves.

Here are a few you can try…

• I am beautiful inside and out
• I deserve respect and loyalty
• I deserve peace
• I embrace change
• I will follow my heart

Check out these self-love affirmations to give it a try.

5. Work On Your Negative Self-Talk

If you’re constantly criticizing yourself it can be difficult to be aware when you are doing this.  

We can all be guilty of negative self-talk from time to time (we’re our own worst critics after all), but if it is consuming your mind the first step is to notice the problem. 

It can be difficult, but when you start focusing on something you don’t like about yourself, I want you to flip the switch, let your inner critic go and instead think about something positive.

After all, negative self-talk leads to negative emotions and feelings.

You can get more details on how this works in this negative thoughts post.

6. Focus On Your Unique, Special Qualities

There are so many things that make you YOU and I want you to take note of these. 

Many times our so-called comfort zones are more like a rut we keep ourselves in.

I’ll share some examples:

• If you’re in a relationship you know isn’t going anywhere, you might be comfortably staying.
• If you’re unhappy in your career and you’re not seeing the progression you’d like, it could feel easier to continue complaining to your colleague instead of doing something about it.
• You may be dealing with depression or anxiety but you aren’t taking steps to finally look after yourself.

Stepping away from what’s comfortable can be really hard. I’m not disputing this. But if you can, think about one small thing you can do today that will help you…

Talk to your partner about what you want in your relationship

Tell your boss you have career goals and would like to talk to them about them

Make an appointment with your family doctor to find out what kind or mental health resources are available to you.

8. Allocate Time for Self Care

Creating time for self-care can seem impossible, however you can make time if you indeed want to.

Even just 10 minutes a day or a handful of time on a Sunday might be just what you need to create better balance in your life.

Check out these articles for some ideas, whether you have 15 minutes or a larger chunk of time:

• 47 Self Care Sunday Ideas: pick one for this upcoming Sunday!
• Morning Self Care Routine: New ideas to start your day

9. Focus on Your Healthy Relationships

Spend more time with people who make you feel good. People who make you laugh – those you can be your true self with.

Also, make sure to tell them you are focusing on self-love. Ask them how they look after themselves and share some of your ideas for your own self-love plan.

10. Do Something You’re Passionate About

If you have a hobby you love, pick it back up. If not, check out this list of meaningful, fun hobbies you can try.

Doing something that’s just for you is a great way to practice loving yourself more. 

Hobbies can give you…

• A sense of personal achievement
• Something positive to focus on if you feel stuck in a rut
• A way to relax which helps with a better work-life balance

Tell me: Is there a hobby you’d like to try? Or one you’ve been meaning to start again? Tell me in the comments below!

Personally, I’m planning on learning more about photography, something I’ve wanted to do for a long time.

11. Treat Yourself to a Self-Date

This is as it sounds – yes, going on a date with yourself.

Many couples will have date nights on a regular basis, but with a self-date, you can challenge yourself to go out on a regular basis doing things with YOU!

I’m super passionate about this and typically like to do walks, coffee shops and flowers for myself.

Learn more about dating yourself in my article: 25 Self Date Ideas & The Art of Dating Yourself.

12. Remind Yourself… You Are Worthy

Having self-worth means you know you deserve good things. You deserve love, peace, happiness, growth and so much more.

As the quote from S. McNutt III says…

“Fall in love with taking care of yourself. Fall in love with the path of deep healing. Fall in love with becoming the best version of yourself but with patience, with compassion and respect to your own journey.” 

For more inspiration check out these self-worth quotes to help you value yourself more.

13. Set Some Personal Goals

Focusing and following through on your personal goals helps you feel determined, accomplished and strong.

Personal goals can be set in so many areas of life… relationships, family, health and wellness, spiritual, career, financial, self-love.

Some examples:

• Have a dedicated family dinner night 3x a week
• Don’t engage in drama at work
• Learn a new skill
• Create a healthy evening routine
• Learn to meditate

14. Take Care of Your Basic Human Needs

Eat healthy food, get enough sleep, exercise, drink water.

These things come easy to some people but for others simply getting to bed on time or drinking enough water can be challenging.

Think about one you’d like to focus on and do that.

These simple habits are still part of you taking care of yourself and therefore practicing self-love.

15. Write a Simple Pleasures List

Think about those little things you might take for granted in your daily life…

• Freshly brewed coffee
• The laugh of your kids
• First thing in the moment when the house is quiet

These little things in life make up our lives and being aware of the little things that bring you joy will actually make you appreciate them even more.

You can check out my simple pleasures list here. 

16. Practice Saying No

Now, this doesn’t mean you should say no when you want to say yes.

However, think about those times that you say yes and you desperately wish you had the courage to say no?

Learning how to say no without feeling guilty can be hard, but when you get into the habit you’ll find a lot of stress and anxiety lifted.

17. Consistently Look For Ways To Practice Gratitude

It might sound cliche to add gratitude to this list, but hear me out. 

Looking for things to be grateful for in your everyday life can literally shift your overall perspective on things.

When you see what there is to be thankful for and truly appreciate it you are adding more joy to your life.

This joy is a gift to yourself. 

There is so much to be thankful for – the comfy pillow you rest your head on at night, a beautiful sunrise, a stable job, your creative ideas. 

One of the best ways to start practicing gratitude is to write a list every night (morning) of 3 things you are grateful for today.

If you need a hand you can try these gratitude journal prompts to get started. 

18. Embrace Your Inner Child 

Think back to the things you used to be passionate about when you were a kid. Reading a good book, exploring nature, dancing, drawing, games. 

When you think back on how you spent your time, what memory lights you up the most? Can you find a way to bring back that enjoyment into your adult life?

Let me share a couple of examples…

You loved dancing – join a dance class at your gym or try some dance workout videos on YouTube

You loved drawing – give adult colouring books a try (these are my personal favourite)

You loved looking for bugs and critters in nature – go hiking or to the park on a regular basis and see what you find.

Reigniting that feeling you had as a child can fill you up with so much happiness, so give it a try!

19. Follow Through

We all have busy lives and sometimes we plan to focus on something but following through just doesn’t seem to happen in the end. 

So, if finding ways to start loving yourself again is your plan, following through on one of these ideas will make you feel great. 

To help you follow through, answer these questions…

• Why is self-love so important for you?
• How do you think loving yourself more will impact your daily life?

Write these questions and answers down and then read them every day.

This might seem like overload, but if you constantly remind yourself of your why, you are more likely to follow through on your plan of self-love.

20. Accept Yourself

Embrace who you are – your good, your not so good, your quirks – all of it. 

When you have self-acceptance you can let go of those nagging negative thoughts that pop up in your head. Those things you might not be proud of, or you wish went another way, you learned something from those experiences that made you stronger today. 

When you can accept where you are right now, today – you are opening up positive experiences that you can step into.

Final Thoughts:

I hope the above self-love ideas will help you make some small changes in your life that will have a big impact.

Remember – you can start small – choose one area to focus on and take it from there.

Also, look for some new ideas to try so you can get rid of low self-esteem and look after your beautiful self in a way you’re proud of.

Your entire life is ahead of you and self-love is a big part of it.

More Self Love Articles & Resources

• Daily Self Love Planner & 30-Day Challenge (Printable)
• Love Yourself First: Daily Guided Journal
• 30 Self Love Journal Prompts for Confidence 
• 10 Ways To Focus On Yourself & Not Others