I talk a lot about self-care. Doing things that you love and looking after yourself. Yes, this is part of self-love, but learning how to love yourself goes a whole lot deeper.
This starts with changing up any negative thoughts you have about yourself.
Ask Yourself this…
- Do you have negative thoughts?
- Do you ever doubt yourself?
- Do you put yourself down?
Even the happiest of people have been guilty of the above.
Having negative thoughts could be something as simple as:
- Not liking how you look in a swimsuit
- Comparing yourself to others in a negative way
- Telling yourself that there’s no way you can do something.
- 30 Self Love Journal Prompts to Boost Self Esteem
- 25 Self Love Affirmations + Free Printable Worksheet
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Examples of Negative Thoughts & How to Reframe Them Into Positive Thoughts
Let’s break this down and talk about solutions to love yourself instead.
Example 1: Not liking how you look in an article of clothing.
Just a couple of weeks ago I went swimsuit shopping – something I have been putting off.
When I start looking through the racks I think ‘Hmmm, should I try on bikini’s like I used to wear or go for the one-pieces’? I pick up both and end up trying on about 12 different options.
I didn’t really like myself in any of these choices, but I ended up going for the least offensive.
I’m sure many people don’t enjoy swimsuit shopping, but I felt pretty deflated after my purchase as a) it was more than I wanted to spend and b) I didn’t feel completely great in my new one-piece.
Checking my negative thoughts:
I realized that I was thinking A LOT when I purchased this suit…
- Remembering how I used to look pretty darn good in a bathing suit (even though I didn’t appreciate it at the time)
- Thinking I needed to go on a diet ASAP and lose 25 pounds in a month (no problem – right?!!)
Then I realized…
The lighting in that change room was AWFUL and I really think those mirrors make me look bigger than I actually am!
I also thought… why am I being so hard on myself? I need to love myself, look after myself and remember that I am not perfect – nor do I want to be.
First, I decided to give myself a break and stop being so hard on myself. You need to do this too.
Next, I decided to think of what I loved about myself and my new one piece. – I actually love the print of my new one-piece and I love that I am tall and have long legs.
Can you do this too? Next time you put yourself down about how you look – can you turn it around and focus on what you love about yourself?
Example 2: Comparing yourself to others in a negative way.
Okay, I’m pretty sure we have ALL been there. People all around seem like they have it all together…
- The woman walking down the street with 3 kids – all of them looking like they walked out of a magazine.
- The couple who hold hands everywhere they go and laugh at each other’s jokes.
- The bloggers who’re making 6 figures in their first year of business.
Let’s be real, these people are not perfect. In fact, they could very well be looking at you wishing they had something you seem to have all together.
A Personal Story:
As many of you know I have struggled with infertility.
Well, something that I notice DAILY is the mama’s walking past my house pushing a baby stroller!
Just imagine, I make myself a cup of tea, sit down to enjoy it while looking out my front window and women are sauntering past MY house with their babies.
How dare they!! (Do I sound crazy yet)?!
The point is that this reminds me every single day that I have infertility, which starts the negative thought patterns, BUT…
I need to remember what I do have in my life (and so do you).
I’m sure many of these women do not have it all together. In fact, I bet many could be struggling with post-partum depression and some are in unhappy marriages.
Focus on the good things in your life that make you feel truly happy. Comparing yourself to another person’s situation is not healthy for you.
Also remember, no one is perfect, and let’s face it perfect is boring anyway!Self love tip: Focus on the good things in your life that make you feel truly happy and STOP comparing yourself to others. #selflove #happiness #selfcare Click To Tweet
Example 3. Telling yourself there’s no way you can do something.
Believing in yourself is the key to loving yourself.
If you believe you can’t do something, then you won’t be able to do it. It’s that simple.
If you believe that you can do something and you create a plan to make it happen, then the world is your oyster!
Yes, it might be hard and it might take a long time, but it can happen.
So this is the time to think of your #1 goal in life right now. It could be…
- Getting out of the 9 to 5 and starting your own business.
- Travelling the world.
- Going back to university to finally get that degree you’ve always wanted.
- Getting a big promotion.
We all have dreams, but feeling that you can make these dreams happen for you means making them happen.
Read this for more inspiration: 100 Empowering Words for Women to Use
- Once you define your dream, make it a goal.
- Write a plan, with a timeline.
- Create tasks that help you work towards that goal.
- Tell yourself daily that you are making your plan happen.
- Be patient and enjoy the process.
- Lastly, make sure you have a positive mindset and push away any thoughts of “I can’t” or “It’s not possible for me”.
How to Love Yourself & Get Rid of Negative Thoughts – Remember this:
Self-love is not only about your actions (self-care), but it’s first and foremost about your THOUGHTS.
Recognize when you are having negative thoughts about yourself.
Take note of these negative thoughts and turn them around into positive thinking.
- Negative: I hate the way I look in a bathing suit.
- Positive: I love the cool design of my bathing suit and it shows off my long legs and green eyes. I’m happy I get to go on vacation and swim in the ocean with my family.
This may seem like a hard task at first, but keep trying.
You are too important to yourself and others to move through life doubting yourself. Love what you have and where you are right now.Self-love is not only about your actions, but about your THOUGHTS. Recognize when you are having negative thoughts about yourself. Take note of this and turn them around into positive thinking. #selflove #selfcare #hapiness Click To Tweet
Lots of love,
P.S. I’m excited to announce my new self-love guided journal, now available on Amazon…
A 30 day self-love journal challenge designed to help practice self-love every day.
Each week you’ll find daily self-love writing prompts, weekly reflection prompts, plus inspirational quotes and colouring pages.
Also, includes self-love affirmations to inspire you plus a ‘write your own’ affirmations page and 75 self-care ideas you can use throughout the 30-day challenge.
Related Self Love Articles:
- 30 Self-Love Journal Prompts to Boost Self-Esteem
- How To Stop Ruminating Thoughts – 5 Tips to Reduce Negative Overthinking
- 111 Beautiful Things To Love About Yourself
- Join the 30-Day Self Love Challenge
For more inspiration and to get the latest post from Put The Kettle On, let’s connect!