75 Self-Love Language Activities To Love Yourself More

You may have heard of The 5 Love Languages, a book originally written as a relationship tool, but have you ever thought of using this tool to love yourself more? It’s just as powerful for self-love and that’s what we’re diving into today… understanding your self-love language, plus activities you can try.

In 1992, Dr. Gary Chapman published The Five Love Languages. In the decades since its release, the concept of love languages has been used by couples around the world to improve their relationships.

You can use the same principles for self-love and self-care.

That’s right! Learning to love yourself the same way you love others is a powerful self-care tool, and the five love languages can help you do just that. 

Below we’ll dig into:

• What the 5 love languages are
• How to know what your love language is (quiz included)
• Self-love and self-care ideas using the 5 self-love languages

Let’s look at each and how you can use them for cultivating self-love.

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What Are The 5 Love Languages?

Languages are used for expressing and understanding ideas. However, not everyone speaks the same language.

If you speak English, you may have trouble explaining yourself to someone who speaks Spanish or Chinese.

You’ll be saying words, but the people you’re talking with won’t understand what you’re saying.

This can be frustrating and may make you feel hopeless.

Likewise, not everyone feels love the same way.

So if you’re trying to express love to your romantic partner, you must communicate in a language they understand. Otherwise, they may feel disconnected and unloved, even though you’re doing things you think show them affection. 

This is where Dr. Chapman’s five love languages come in. But what are the 5 love languages? 

The 5 Love Languages Explained:

1. Physical Touch: Physical affection, such as hugs, hand-holding, backrubs, and other forms of touch

2. Quality Time: Spending time together without distractions, such as talking over a cup of coffee or going for a walk

3. Words of Affirmation: Encouraging words, compliments, and verbal expressions of love

4. Acts of Service: Selfless acts such as doing the dishes or running an errand

5. Receiving Gifts: Large or small presents or tokens of affection

All of the examples mentioned above are ways of expressing love. However, they won’t all mean the same to everyone, and that’s why the concept of love languages is so useful. 

For instance, if you don’t have the physical touch love language, then getting a hug isn’t going to make you feel loved. It might do the opposite and leave you feeling uncomfortable. 

On the same token, if you have the words of affirmation love language, someone could spend plenty of time showering you with loving acts, which wouldn’t be what you needed. You’d still long to hear kind words spoken. 

Due to these differences, there’s not a one-size-fits-all list when it comes to acts of self-love.

What makes you feel relaxed and cared for might leave another person feeling anxious and overwhelmed.

So take some time to explore each self love language and decide which ones are most helpful.

How To Know What Your Love Language Is

By understanding your own love language, you can create self-care practices that are tailored to your needs and bring you the most joy, nourishment, and self-acceptance.

However, before you can do that, you’ve got to figure out your love language!

Take The Love Language Quiz

There are several self-assessment activities you can use to discover your self-love language.

The most popular is the Love Language Quiz found on the 5 Love Languages website.

This personality test will help you determine which self-love language you resonate with the most. 

Try Self-Reflection

If taking a quiz isn’t your style, self-reflection can also be a great way to discover your self-love language.

Think about the times when you feel the most loved.

What self-care or self-love practices have made you feel nourished and connected with yourself?

These clues will help you determine which self-love language works best for you.

Once you’ve identified your primary love language, you can use it as a guide for creating self-care practices that are unique to you.

The beauty of using self love languages is they’re flexible. So if something isn’t working, you can always switch up your routine and find something that resonates with you.

How To Use The 5 Love Languages For Self-Love: 75 Ideas

Once you know which love languages make you feel the most appreciated, it’s time to start using them for self-love! Here are some ideas: 

Here are some self-care ideas to help you get started, depending on your own love language.

Physical Touch Self-Love Activities 

If this is your love language, self-care means taking care of your body and treating it with the same gentleness you show to your loved ones. 

To love yourself through a physical connection, try: 

1. A self-massage with sweet-smelling oils
2. Taking a warm and luxurious bath
3. Giving yourself hugs throughout the day
4. Scheduling regular appointments for manis and pedis
5. Doing regular stretching exercises
6. Dry brushing
7. Pampering yourself with a spa day
8. Cooking a healthy meal and enjoying each bite
9. Cuddling up with a warm blanket and a hot cup of tea
10. Regularly applying moisturizer so your skin looks its best
11. Finding a natural lip balm you love and apply it throughout the day
12. A new physical activity such as ice skating, yoga, or frisbee golf
13. Getting regular haircuts

Quality Time Self-Love Activities

Quality time is about being fully present and paying attention to every moment. It’s giving your undivided attention to those you love.

When was the last time you had a quiet moment to yourself?

To show self-love through quality time, you could:

1. Take yourself on a solo date: go to a movie or out for dinner
2. Engage in self-reflection activities such as journaling, meditation, and visualization
3. Experiment with mindfulness practices like deep breathing exercises and body scans
4. Take a walk in nature and really take the time to appreciate your surroundings
5. Read self-help books 
6. Listen to your favorite podcasts
7. Turn off all electronics, put away distractions, and just be with yourself
8. Go window shopping or explore a new area of town
9. Try a yoga class or take up Tai Chi
10. Check out a new cafe
11. Binge-watch a new tv series
12. Write in a gratitude journal
13. Catch a sunset or sunrise
14. Schedule regular appointments with a therapist
15. Travel solo
16. Try a new hobby

Words Of Affirmation Self-Love Ideas 

The words you say to yourself can have a powerful effect on your self-esteem.

This self-love language is about expressing appreciation for yourself and self-talk that helps you feel more positive, empowered, and capable. 

Acts Of Service Self-Love Activities 

Serving yourself can be just as self-loving as serving others. This self-love language is about being proactive in taking care of your needs with helpful acts. 

To use acts of service for self-care, you could:

1. Make a to-do list and celebrate when you cross something off of it
2. Pay attention to the little self-care tasks you can do each day, like getting to bed on time, drinking enough water, or taking a mental health break
3. Set up systems to help you stay organized 
4. Create a morning routine that works for you
5. Volunteer for an organization that means a lot to you
6. Pursue your passion through a side hustle or home business
7. Declutter a room in your home
8. Book an appointment for routine medical needs such as your mammogram or dental checkup 
9. Organize your financial records and create a budget
10. Set personal goals to help you create the life you’ve been dreaming of
11. Evaluate your mental health and pay attention to your emotional needs
12. Creating a simple self-care routine and sticking to it

Receiving Gifts Self-Love Ideas 

Showing self-love with gifts doesn’t have to be about spending money. You can do it even with a tight budget.

This self-love language is about appreciating yourself and rewarding your successes, no matter how small.

Self love language ideas for ‘gift receiving’:

1. Create a self-care gift basket filled with items that make you feel good
2. Get a new mug at the dollar store
3. Surprise yourself with a new item that you’ve been wanting – it can be small, like a new book or a cute pen
4. Write yourself an “I love you” card and display it in your home
5. Buy yourself flowers
6. Make yourself a meal with all of your favorite ingredients
7. Invest in items for self-care, such as a new face mask or a favorite essential oil
8. Buy yourself chocolates for Valentine’s Day
9. Pay for the guided meditation app you’ve been eyeing
10. Make a bucket list and do something from it
11. Giving yourself a budget and go thrifting to see what you can find
12. Start a home improvement project
13. Buy yourself a domain and start a blog
14. Go out to dinner at your favorite restaurant
15. Slide a couple of bucks into your winter coat before you put it away for the season
16. Repurposing household items into something new
17. Rearranging the furniture in your living space to make it different 
18. Make a list of meaningful gifts you want and reflect on what each one would mean

Can You Have More Than One Love Language?

As you read through these lists, you might have noticed that loving acts from more than one category resonated with you.

Now you might wonder, is it possible to have more than one love language?

The answer is yes!

Often, you’ll have a main love language and a secondary one.

For example, your primary self-love language might be Quality Time, but you could also find Acts of Service self-care activities meaningful.

Knowing this information about yourself can put self-care into perspective and help you create a balance that works for you.

Also, it’s important to remember that your love language might change over time. Dr. Lev, a licensed clinical psychologist, says love languages are malleable.

As your needs change, likely, your self-care language will too. So, self-love is an ongoing process that requires continuous evaluation and adjustment over time.

What’s Your Self-Love Language? 

The concept of love languages can be a useful tool for improving your relationships with others. However, they’re also a powerful way to love yourself better. 

So, take some time to reflect on the self-love activities that speak to you the most.

Whether spending quality time with yourself or giving yourself a gift, self-love is integral to self-care.

• What’s your primary love language?
• What are things you do to show yourself how much you love yourself?

I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

Related Self Love Resources:

• 40 Self Love Reminders To Improve Your Day
• How To Start Loving Yourself Again – 20 Ideas
• 30 Self Love Journal Prompts To Boost Self Esteem