Finding the right support for stepmoms can be difficult at times. It’s no secret that step-parenting can be tough, so this post is for all the stepmoms out there who feel:
- Left out
Does this sound familiar at times? Being a stepmom is not easy, however, you also choose to…
…wake up every day with your stepchildren as the first thing on your mind. You look after their interests before your own, you create new traditions and experiences, you hug, kiss, wipe tears away and cheer them on every day.
Even though you didn’t grow up dreaming of being a stepmom (who does?!) you wouldn’t lose or let go of your family just the way it is – even though it’s unconventional and at times emotionally exhausting.
Words of Encouragement & Support for Stepmoms
Sometimes we all need a little reminder of how important we are – and stepmama, I’m talking about you.
Never forget this…
You are Making a Big Impact in your Stepchildren’s Lives
At times I’m sure you find this hard to remember especially if the biomom enjoys badmouthing you and your husband. Remember to keep your chin up and continue being your kind, loving self.
If your kids don’t acknowledge your love now, they still feel it. And this is what matters.
You are Doing Your Best
There is no such thing as the perfect parent (bio, step, foster, adoptive, etc). So don’t be too hard on yourself.
As a step-parent sometimes we feel like the lens is on us more, to catch our mistakes. Whether it is or not, just know that messing up is fine and expected.
Take it, embrace it and learn where you can,
There are Others Out There to Support You
I’m right here! A stepmom who gets it. The ups, the downs and everything in between.
You don’t have to be on this step-parenting journey alone. Even if you don’t personally know other stepmoms out there, you have really amazing resources, such as Facebook groups.
My Favourite Step-parenting Support Groups (Facebook)
- Bonus Mom Without My Own (Stepmoms with no bio-kids & those who’ve struggled with this, i.e. infertility)
- Step Parent Support (Stepmoms and Stepdads)
- Stepmoms with Super Powers (Stepmoms only)
- Confidential Stepmom Support Group (Stepmoms only)
- Bonus Parents Unite (Stepmoms and Stepdads)
- Custodial Stepmoms (Stepmoms with legal custody)
Absolutely every step-parenting topic you could ever imagine is discussed in these groups. I highly recommend joining a step-parenting Facebook group if you:
- Need feedback or advice on parenting topics
- Want support from people who understand
- Are looking for a place to share happy or upsetting step-parenting stories
- Need to vent
- Are curious about other step-parents experiences
You may even find that your step-parenting journey isn’t as stressful as you thought, once you learn more about others experiences.
Find a group you like and if you have any you are currently part of (and love), make sure to share the details in the comments so I can check it out 🙂
You Should Be Proud of Your Stepmom Role
Parenting is hard and step-parenting can be even harder.
As a stepmom, you have literally stepped up. You have chosen your role, chosen to love your spouse and their kids.
Many people couldn’t do this, so be proud that you are extending love to raising another women’s children (alongside side her).
Don’t Be Hard On Yourself – Especially On The Bad Days
If you are a stepmom you know there are bad step-parenting days.
A number of things might happen…
- You’re not getting respect
- Bio-mom is playing mind games with the kids
- You lose your s**t with your spouse because they haven’t supported you
- The inlaws don’t treat you properly
- Your stepkids aren’t showing you the kind of love you desperately want
- You’re just plain tired of everything feeling so hard!
Whatever it is that’s making your day bad, understand it’s OKAY to feel bad – but don’t blame yourself. Sure there will be times you feel you are to blame, but try and take this as a learning experience and don’t spend too much time overthinking what happened.
Being a Stepmom is Common Today
We all know this but may not feel this if we don’t have other stepmoms in our circle.
There have been times I feel like I have a big sign on my head saying ‘STEPMOM’. As if people could see the stepmom coming from miles away!!
I literally played mind games with myself, especially at my stepsons sporting events. Thoughts used to swirl in my head…
- Will people think I’m not a ‘real’ parent?
- Will other parents/teachers/kids treat me differently?
Guess what – no one cares!! Everyone is so wrapped up in their own lives that they truly don’t care about you. And if they do and they aren’t treating you fairly – they are the one with the problem, not you!
Whether you stepparent full-time or part-time you are a PARENT. Period.
As for my son’s (yes I call my stepson, ‘son’) sports games – I am good friends with a lot of the parents and more importantly I am present for my stepson. I like knowing he can count on me to be there and cheer him on 🙂
Do you have any words of Encouragement or Support for other Stepmoms?
Make sure to leave them in the comments below…
Related Stepmom & Parenting Articles:
- What to Expect as a New Stepmom
- Dear Bio-Moms: 8 Truths Stepmoms Wish You Understood
- Top Inspirational Step Parenting Quotes
- 12 Essential Tips to Being a Present Parent
- The Importance of Love & Affection Towards Your Children
For more inspiration and to get the latest post from Put The Kettle On, let’s connect!
Thanks! I appreciate every single share 🙂