Are you giving your Children the kind of love and affection they need for happiness in life?
A big thanks to Elizabeth from tiredmomsupermom.com for writing this thought-provoking post on the love and affection children need in their lives. Make sure to scroll to the bottom to learn more about Elizabeth and connect with her on social media.
It may seem like a simple concept to most, but the truth is, many children do not receive the love and affection that they need in order to grow up to be emotionally mature adults.
As parents, we all want success and happiness for our children and we do our best to guide them with time, affection and love. Sometimes we get so caught up in the word “success” that we forget to put in the love and affection and we put on the pressure which leads to high stress and anxiety in children.
Love and affection can melt away stress and anxiety in children and lead them further into a successful future.
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Why Is Love And Affection Important For A Child?
Our main focus, as parents, is providing the basics of life such as food, shelter, and keeping children away from danger along with nurturing and supporting them through all the challenges of life.
When we provide the correct support in all of those categories, our children feel safe, secure and loved which helps them develop quality relationships with others.
These feelings of security shape confident children with a larger capacity for learning and developing mentally and physically.
While it is easy to provide the necessities of life such as shelter and food, it can be more challenging to provide love and affection when our lives get busy and everything is constantly rushed.Love directly affects your child’s wellbeing and makes them physically more healthy. #parenting #children Click To Tweet
Love directly affects your child’s wellbeing and makes them physically more healthy.
Good mental health allows children to learn new skills and think more clearly.
Words of encouragement and love help develop confidence and self-esteem.
It is imperative that we do not allow our children to receive love only when they have achieved something.
- This teaches them that they need to be constantly proving themselves to you in order to receive
that love and affection.
- Help your child grow confidence by expecting them to make mistakes and accepting those mistakes with understanding and love.
During the younger years, it is a lot easier to show those affections to your children. Showing love and affection with your teenager can be a little more challenging, but that shouldn’t stop you from sneaking in hugs and kisses with them too.
During teenagehood, it is so important to have a strong bond with your child, because that is when they are the most lost and need your help with figuring out their question about self-discovery, love and future. This bond starts when the children are young, so it is important to be mindful about providing love and affection, even when children misbehave.
A Mothers Affection Towards Their Child Matters
It is important to receive affection from both parents, however, a mother’s love is like no other. There were a few studies that show children without mothers love and affection were acting more defiant and distant than those who had the love and affection of their mothers all the time.
We do all love our children very much and wish the best for them in their futures, but did you know that showing all that love consistently throughout their lifetime can help your children become smarter individuals?
While it is important to put our children in the best possible school so they can be at the top of their class in the next few years, it is much more important to give love and affection than a top of the line education.
I can see this with my own children. I have a five-year-old who is brilliant. I truly believe that he is willing to absorb all the information he learns at school because he is confident about himself and has no worries or anxieties about his home life. We use positive parenting techniques in our household to relieve anxieties and fears.
How To Make Your Child Feel Loved and Valued
There are many ways you can make your child feel loved and valued. All of these are free and just take a little extra time and effort. Thank goodness love don’t cost a thing because there is so much of it in us that we can give it to our children as well as family and friends!
The number one way you can make your child feel loved is through encouragement.
Children learn every day and sometimes learning so much so quickly can become overwhelming. Encouragement helps them overcome challenges and allows them to gain the confidence to want to learn more and explore further.
- If you can ensure your child is in a safe space, allow them to explore and learn all on their own and reassure them by smiling and using a pleasant, encouraging tone of voice.
- Make them feel like you are involved in their activity by remaining active through your voice. (“Wow, that’s amazing Buzz Lightyear can fly so high!)
2. Admit Your Mistakes
Another important rule of thumb when making your child feel valued is to admit your mistakes to them. Let them know that you are also not perfect and you make mistakes which is okay.
Children often see adults as perfect, so making sure they see that you are not perfect can build a lot of trust between you and your child.How do you make your child feel loved and valued? Tip #2: Admit your mistakes. #parenting #loveyourkids Click To Tweet
3. Set Attainable Goals
Create goals for your children that they can reach.
Being realistic about what they can accomplish is really important for your child. If there is a preschool reading program, setting the expectation to read 2 books per day might be too daunting for your child, but by reducing your goal to 3 books per week can help your child become more confident in their ability to finish the task.
Bonus if you end up reading more books in a week than expected, that’s just another thing you can celebrate together.
4. Pay Attention To Your Tone Of Voice
As adults, we often talk to other adults with sarcasm and laughter. When we talk to our children, using sarcasm it can be dangerous territory.
Children do not know the meaning of sarcasm and how to identify when someone is using it. Therefore when you talk to your child about their homework, don’t ask them where the 5% went on their 95% term paper, tell them they did a fantastic job instead.
Try to find out how your child feels about a situation. Have a real conversation about their failures and accomplishments without sarcasm.
5. Have Fun
There are so many ways we can have fun with our kids. Some ideas you can focus on:
- Make sure you’re creating time for play and laughter together.
- Make school fun and exciting instead of drab and boring.
- Encourage family outings on the weekends
- Most of all enjoy your time together by putting down your phone and leaving work at work.
Unconditional Love Between Parent and Child
Unconditional love is loving someone without them having to reach expectations. It’s loving them no matter what.Unconditional love is loving someone without them having to reach expectations. It’s loving them no matter what. #parenting #unconditionallove Click To Tweet
Conditional love is having expectations and if they are not hit, they get treated with disappointment and anger, leaving an embarrassed, sad, unaccomplished human being.
Conditional love that is caused by achievement can be threatening to kids because of the love from their parents depends heavily on their success or failure.
At the same time, unconditional love can be threatening as well because parents may provide too much freedom to their kids and provide no consequences for bad behaviour, creating a society of spoiled children who believe everything should be handed to them without hard work and a little sweat.
It is, therefore, best to provide children with balance.
Unconditional love alongside typical parenting guidelines and rules provides the best life your child can have.
Give your children the tools to achieve their goals. This leads to qualities such as perseverance, hard work and patience.
How Does Your Child Like to Receive Love and Affection?
Share in the comments below!
Hi, I’m Elizabeth, author of Tired Mom Supermom. I am a new stay at home mom, trying to live a simple frugal life with my 2 boys under 5 years old. I run a pretty organized home, and I want to
inspire other mommies to keep a clean and organized home while having time and energy to take good care of their children as well. It can be a tough balance.
Let’s connect on Pinterest!