14 Comments

  1. My favorite quote – β€œI did not give you the gift of life. Life gave me the gift of you.”

    I wish my bonus daughter knew and understood this. My husband and I are childhood sweethearts and have five children together. When we were in our early 20’s, we split up for a bit. In that time, he met someone and in a very short time, she became pregnant. They remained together throughout the pregnancy and once she was born but ultimately broke up. We got back together and consequently lost a great part of her life due to her mother preventing us from having a relationship with her.

    Fast forward to today, we are trying to rebuild the relationship with her but it is at a slow pace due to the damage done by her mother.

    1. Hi Denise, thanks so much for sharing your story. Being a step parent has so many unique challenges. Have you thought about sharing this quote with her? She may not understand now, but I bet as she gets older she’ll come to understand your love. It’s so tough when the bio mom makes it difficult for the child and stepmom. Hang in there xoxo

  2. I was also scrolling through Pinterest this morning to help me through some rough step-mothering days and came across your post. Thank you for sharing, it’s reassuring to know there are others who feel the same πŸ™‚

    1. Hi Laura, So happy you found the article! Yeah, step-mom life isn’t easy. Each day comes with new challenges. Always good to connect with others who can relate πŸ™‚ Thanks for the note!

  3. Thank you so much for these! My boyfriend and I have been together 8 yrs and he/we have had full custody of his 3 children for 6 yrs now and I am vilified by her entire family. I’m so glad I found these quotes and others who truly understand.

    1. Hello fellow stepmama! Thanks for writing. I am always happy to meet other women who understand the struggle! Hope you have a Happy Holidays Rebecca πŸ™‚

  4. I found myself doing this exact thing today in anticipation of tomorrow’s dance recital with my stepdaughter’s “other” family and stumbled upon this. I am not married to my boyfriend (who has two kids), but we have lived together for over two years and I have been totally immersed into the step mom role, without much of the recognition Not that I NEED recognition, but some would be nice every once in while, considering it is the most rewarding but difficult thing I have ever done! It feels good to know that others know what I am going through and that I’m not alone. πŸ™‚

    1. Hi Kay – thanks for your story. I understand where you’re coming from completely as a stepmom for about 7 years (and only just married this month). You are not alone – in fact there are a lot of us out there… we just need to find each other! Take care XO

    2. I can relate sooo deeply. My guy and I have been together 2 yrs also. We have endured a VERY necessary yet scary custody battle (the mother is incredibly toxic, diagnosed bipolar, manipulative, narrasistic, petty & has caused great emotional trauma/depression/ anxiety in my 13 yr old bonus dghtr…) & I am so beyond happy the judge granted us exactly what we asked for which was full custody of the 13 yr dghtr & 50/50 of the 5 yr dghtr… Our 13 yr old begged us to fight for full custody & so that’s what we did! She is working through the past trauma & makes me feel like I have purpose… it breaks my heart that their mother
      is so bitter that the kids love me & tell me “you’re the best est step mommy I could ever have in da whole world!” So when the 5 yr old goes to her house & talks about me she tells the 5yr old things like “she isn’t your step mom bcus she didn’t carry you in her belly so she isn’t a real mommy to you…” (uhhh…what?!) So then we have to explain that you can be a special kind of mommy w/o having a baby in your belly…. I have never had the *pleasure* of actually meeting their mom face 2 face but we have briefly made eye contact months back during a few child handoffs (she now sends her mother or stays in the car while dad brings them out to the car) but I’m NOT looking forward to future recitals or sports events bcus just her presence enough to churn your stomach & raise blood pressure.. STAY STRONG GIRL!

      1. Thanks for sharing your story. Being a stepmama can certainly be hard, especially when the biomom is toxic. Keep loving your kids and they will know who truly loves them. xo

  5. THIS IS SO GOOD!!!! I was a stepmom to my hubs 5 kids from his first marriage for 6 years before adopting them 8 years ago. They are all big adults now but the feelings still come up! I love that you put this together!

    1. Thanks for sharing Meg πŸ™‚ If you don’t mind I have a question for you, so I’ll send you an email. Happy to hear that you like these!

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