20 Comments

  1. I’m so glad you mentioned the food issue! Even when everyone is used to eating pretty much all the same foods, many times it’s about the specific recipe or the way the food is presented on the plate. A simple PB&J sandwich made by Mom can be a comfort food for a child. So if step-Mom cuts the bread a different way or fails to remove the crusts, it can feel all wrong to a child.

    There’s so much to struggle through when any change happens in a family. Sometimes all we can do is muddle through the best we know how, and ask the kids to help us fine tune things so they’ll be happier πŸ™‚

    1. Thanks so much for your perspective. It’s nice to get other stepmom’s feedback πŸ™‚ It is funny how kids expect that a certain type of dish looks and tastes the same everywhere! And yes, it’s definitely all about muddling through to make the kids happy πŸ™‚

  2. I’ve experienced several girlfriends have to be the stepmom and it’s a rough road. However, these tips do help when emotions are involved.

  3. These are really good points! I hadn’t thought about how planning for special occasions with the kids could be. There’s definitely some adjustments to prepare for!

    1. Ha! It’s all about the scheduling… and well, everyone agreeing (that’s the tough part!)

  4. This is great advice! I have a Step Mom, my Dad and her got married when I was 11 and I have always been very close to her. She navigated things so well and has always been a great friend for me. I am sure it is such a hard position to be in!

    1. Thanks for the feedback Emily. I love to hear from people who have step parents, just to hear a different side of the story. So lovely to hear you and your step mom are close πŸ™‚

  5. My Mom was a stepmom to the children from my Dad’s first marriage. They were teenagers when my parents got married. She tells me it was difficult for everyone to adjust but they eventually did. Great post.

    1. It’s a tough job, but when things go great it’s truly so rewarding. Thanks for the feedback Ellen πŸ™‚

  6. Excellent advice. Something else I would like to add, however. If the children’s parents do not have a good working relationship, things will be significantly more difficult.

    1. Hi Alicia – completely agree with you regarding the child’s parents. If everyone got along it would be SO much better for the kids, as they do pick up on issues that are happening.

  7. This is awesome! Really great tips! I have 2 stepsons and the adjustment was so much harder than I expected. I wish i had a few of these tips back then!

    1. Thanks Tiffany! It is hard and I went in blinded. If I’d known more I think the transition would have been easier.

  8. This is an amazing post! My oldest nephew is the step-child to my brother’s wife and they have three other children together so these are definitely things you need to keep in mind.

    xo, Kimberly
    http://www.lifeofkimberly.com

  9. I’ve been a stepmom for about 7 years and it is very interesting to say the least. It’s also very hard but so worth it.

    1. I hear you Tabitha. Hang in there, as I agree it it worth it. We just have to remind ourselves of that when times are tough πŸ™‚

  10. This is really good advice. I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend now for three years and I must say it’s really a tough job being in his children’s lives, especially because we come from different cultural backgrounds. But there have been good times as well. So i totally agree with you here.

    1. I agree with it being hard coming from different cultural backgrounds. I never expected this to be a challenge but it is. As a stepmom we want to continue our traditions too and introduce things we were used to growing up. IT’s hard to do this sometimes when there are so many people involved in the kids lives. I just hope that some of my traditional might stick! Thanks LeoLynn for your feedback πŸ™‚

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