Happiness Is A Choice: 12 Ways To Choose Happiness

Choosing happiness is quite simple. You can choose it or not. It really comes down to seeking it out every single day. So, if happiness is a choice, how exactly do we choose it?

The pursuit of happiness is something everyone says they’re after, and the amazing thing is we have more control over happiness than you might think.

According to Dr. Sonja Lyubomirksy in her book ‘The How of Happiness’, as much as 40 percent of our happiness is determined by the ‘intentional activities we choose to engage in.”

This is truly powerful and reassuring for those of us who feel our happiness is predetermined by circumstance or genetics. This means that we can make happiness a choice, if we set our minds to it.

Why is happiness a choice?

You may find some differing opinions out there that happiness is not a choice. Well, I very much disagree.

As the Ancient Greek author, Aeschylus said “Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times.”

When it comes to happiness we can choose it every day – no matter what our circumstances.

At the end of the day, it’s all about an individual’s perspective and will to seek out the positive in any given situation.

You can have two people go through the same bad experience.

• Person A will choose to focus on the hardship and the struggle.
• Person B will acknowledge that something bad happened, but then choose happiness by getting back on track. 

This scenario can be applied to a million situations. Yes, even trauma, loss and tragic health situations.

Choosing happiness can be hard, especially when difficult life challenges occur. However, in the end, we make a conscious decision to get back up and take that step forward or not.

Related: 121 Things That Make Me Happy: Write Your Own List!

Happiness Is A Choice: 12 Ways To Choose Happiness

Before we get to the tips on how to choose happiness I want to share that these are things I have specifically worked on when going through infertility and depression.

Much of this advice is from my personal work going through CBT therapy for major depressive disorder, with mental health professionals. 

Also note: If you’re in the thick of trauma and grief in this very moment, this article might not be for you right now, but you can get through this eventually and choosing happiness can be yours too.

As always I recommend speaking to a professional to provide support and guidance in your mental health journey.

Let’s get into it.

1. Acknowledge Your Range of Emotions

Choosing happiness doesn’t mean you aren’t acknowledging your wide range of emotions. Let’s face it, to choose and feel happiness we need to also feel the opposite – sadness, loss, grief, worry, and pain. 

When happiness is a decision you intentionally make, it’s also important to acknowledge other emotions you’re going through. 

Take that time to feel what you need. This might be hours or days depending on the situation. Once you do acknowledge what you’re going through you can then make happiness a choice in your everyday actions.

Related: Free Printable Mood Tracker Worksheets

2. Decide What Happiness Means To You

To decide what happiness means to you, let’s first look at the meaning of joy vs. happiness. 

According to BetterHelp “… happiness is something to work towards in your life; it’s an end goal or destination.” 

Whereas, “joy is a momentary affect or fleeting feeling. These feelings are triggered by something specific, such as getting good news or receiving an act of kindness.”

Knowing that happiness is about an end goal, decide what this might look like for you.

My version of happiness is having deep love and connection in my life while getting to pursue new ways to learn and grow.

What does your version of happiness look like to you?

3. Practice Gratitude On A Daily Basis

We’ve all heard a million times that it’s important to practice gratitude. When you intentionally look for things to be grateful for it becomes quite difficult to focus on the negative things.

One of my favorite gratitude quotes says this quite well… 

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” – Robert Brault

There are so many good things in life to be appreciative of. 

Here are some small things to be grateful for every day:

• Having access to healthy food and clean water
• The beauty that Mother Nature provides
• Having people who love and support you
• Waking up each day 
• A cozy cup of tea in the morning
• Beautiful sunrises and sunsets
• Your kids

Depending on our life circumstances there will be different things to be grateful for every day. I encourage you to look for the blessings in your daily life and start recording them.

4. Look For The Silver Lining

It’s tough to look for the silver lining in difficult situations and it might not be possible in all events. However, there are situations where it’s much easier to find a silver lining.

Looking for the silver lining is about paying attention to the positive aspects of life, even in challenging times. 

It involves acknowledging difficulties and setbacks but then actively seeking the valuable lessons, opportunities, or moments of beauty within them. 

If you feel negative emotions and thoughts popping into your mind, do your best to replace them with positive thoughts. 

The key to finding the silver lining is by focusing on gratitude like we discussed above.

5. Build Meaningful Relationships

Positive social interactions are truly important for our overall happiness. Spending quality time with those you love is the key to happiness for all of us.

Did you know that having close bonds with others is the key to happiness? Well, the longest-running study ever conducted on happiness tells us this.

These close relationships can come in all forms with a spouse, a best friend, your children, a parent, etc.

Check out the details below on the TED Talk from Robert Waldinger, the Director of the 85 year-old study on happiness.

“Money doesn’t make people happy. People make people happy.”

– Steve Wynn

6. Live In The Present Moment

Living in the present moment means being focused on the now, experiencing and enjoying the moment you’re in.

To accomplish this, the goal is to let go of past thoughts or future worries and just be where you are. 

Living in the moment might look like:

• Being fully present when talking to people – eye contact, fully listening and responding (no phones)
• Taking notice of little things in your day and having gratitude for them
• Doing mindful breathing exercises
• Doing an activity or hobby you love with no interruptions
• Exercising
• Doing a meditation practice

7. Give Yourself Permission To Be Happy

AsMonican Vermani, clinical psychologist says in this Psychology Today article… 

“As we grow and take on more responsibilities, we take on roles, responsibilities, and pursuits to meet the expectations of others. We learn to postpone gratification, and lose the ability to engage with and find joy in the small pleasures of life. Gradually, we abandon happiness as an integral part of everyday life.”

This is pretty eye-opening and we may not even realize that we are putting simple everyday happiness on hold. This is a missed opportunity to find happiness within yourself today.

You may have also gone through a particularly hard time with the loss of a loved one, a major health crisis or other trauma and you’re holding onto this. You don’t feel you can be happy given the circumstances, especially if someone you love is struggling, or you are struggling.

I felt this way when going through infertility, holding onto my grief and loss for so long. I felt that if I let it go it meant I had given up on my dream of giving birth and being a mom – so I continued to grieve and not allow happiness into my life. 

We can all make a conscious choice to create happiness if we just give ourselves permission to do so.

8. Have Fun

If you’re out there participating in life and having fun it becomes a lot easier to experience true happiness.

As adults, we have so many responsibilities, but life is about so much more than checking the box on things we must do. We must make time for fun – to have a laugh – to experience joy in the moment.

Here’s an activity for you to try:

1. Think about all of the hobbies and activities you loved doing when you were younger (a kid, teen or in your young adult life). These can be simple things or bigger things.
2. Write a list of everything you used to do – photography, dancing, being on a sports team, playing music, hiking, writing, having dinner out with friends.
3. Circle the activities you would like to bring back into your life
4. Now, choose one activity you would like to start this week.
5. If you can start right away, perfect. But you might also need to do some research or planning to start.

By adding in activities you find fun, you will feel a new lease on life that you may not even realize was missing.

Related: 55 Hobbies & Interests To Make Life Fun

9. Add Self-Care Into Your Life

We know we need it, but we tend to deprioritize self-care. When we have a good life balance by looking after ourselves in the right way, we can create more opportunities to seek out happiness. 

This starts with looking after our basic current needs.

Let’s face it, if we’re barely getting by, it can be hard to put any plans into action.

I recommend creating a self-care plan that focuses on the 5 types of self-care – emotional, spiritual, physical, social and intellectual. We need these to create the balance to thrive and build a happy life.

To put this self-care plan into action feel free to check out ​​my Building a Happy Week Self Care Planner.

10. Help Others

When you help others out not only do you make them feel good, but it rubs off on you too. So think about that last time you did a good deed for someone. This might be a loved one, friend or family member or anyone in your community.

Performing small acts of kindness for others is a great way to experience happiness and pass it on. This could be anything from volunteering in a soup kitchen, buying a coffee for the person in line behind you, or shovelling your neighbour’s driveway after a snowfall.

According to Cleveland Clinic…

“As you help someone or give a gift, your brain secretes “feel good” chemicals such as: increasing serotonin (which regulates mood), dopamine (giving you a sense of pleasure) and oxytocin (which creates a sense of connection with others).”

Find more inspiration here: 115 Good Deeds Examples To Make a Positive Impact

11. Make Time For Learning

When we set time aside to learn new things we can actually tick off even more boxes from the above tips… self-care, living in the present moment, and having fun.

Learning a new skill gives us purpose in life. When we have goals and we work toward them it provides a sense of accomplishment, which in turn can boost feelings of happiness and well-being.

Some of the best ways to learn something new:

• Watch a TED talk
• Sign up for an online course
• Read – non-fiction, autobiographies and historical fiction 
• Listen to podcasts
• Enroll in a course

12. Spend Time In Nature

When you get outside in nature somehow you end up feeling lighter with less worries. But is there any scientific evidence that being in nature makes us happier?

Well, indeed there is. According to this study, where 60 participants walked 50 minutes in either an urban setting or nature setting, results show…

“Compared to the urban walk, the nature walk resulted in affective benefits (decreased anxiety, rumination, and negative affect, and preservation of positive affect)…”

In other words, after the walk in nature, people had fewer negative feelings and more positive ones.

So, do your best to get outside in nature as often as possible. We can’t always get to a hiking trail or the countryside, but you can look for a local park or pathway near the water.

This takes little effort and can bring on positive emotions and feelings worth keeping.

Final thoughts

I’ve always been a firm believer that we can choose the path we take in life. In fact, the tagline of this website ‘create the life you love’ is specifically about this.

We can choose to create a fulfilling life and we certainly should.

At the end of the day, happiness truly is a choice. It’s a choice we can make every day from when we get out of bed to when we go to sleep.

You can choose to:

• Live a happier life
• Have a positive attitude
• Prioritize your personal growth
• Be in control of your own happiness today

What Do You Think? Is Happiness A Choice?

Regardless of what your idea of happiness looks like, is happiness a choice? Share your opinion in the comments section below. Thanks!

Related Resources on Choosing Happiness:

• 20 Ways To Find Your Happy Place
• 100 Always Choose Happiness Quotes
• 125 Simple Pleasures To Bring You Joy
• Today I Choose Joy Mood Tracker Journal
• 100 Simple Ways to Improve Your Life This Year
• 15 Ways To Find Joy In Life Again

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