75 Hilariously Funny Self-Care Quotes For A Good Laugh

What better way to get in the mood for self-care than with these funny self-care quotes? After all, having a good laugh is one of the best ways to practice self-care!

Below you’ll find a funny list of quotes to make you smile and a reminder that laughter is the best medicine.

Before we jump in, if you’re looking for ways to use these quotes, here are some ideas:

• Create a graphic in Canva and then share it on social media
• Write your fave funny quote in your journal or planner
• Share with a friend who needs a mood boost
• Save this post to Pinterest to come back to later (you can easily save one of the pins below)

Now, let’s get into it!

75 Funny Self-Care Quotes To Make You Seriously Laugh

As you’re reading through these funny self-care and self-love quotes make sure to keep track of your favorite so you can share in the comments section below. Enjoy!

1. “They say good things take time, so that’s why I’m always late.” – Unknown

3. “The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.” – Mark Twain

4. “I do a thing called ‘what I want.’” – Unknown

5. “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” – Lucille Ball

6. “Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.” – George Carlin

7. “Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.” – George Burns

8. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.” – Jim Henson

9. “I got it all together. But I forgot where I put it.”

– Unknown

10. “Weak people revenge. Strong people forgive. Intelligent people ignore.” – Albert Einstein

11. “If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on the television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.” – Frank Zappa

12. “The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.” – Joan Rivers

Related: 125 Self Care Saturday Ideas To Unwind This Weekend

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13. “It’s not your job to like me…it’s mine!”

– Byron Katie

14. “Wouldn’t it be great if we all grew up to be what we wanted to be? The world would be full of nurses, firemen, and ballerinas.” – Lily Tomlin

16. “Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.” Tina Fey

17. “I really don’t think I need buns of steel. I’d be happy with buns of cinnamon.” – Ellen DeGeneres

18. “Self-care is the greatest middle finger of all time.” – Unknown

19. “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” – Charles M. Schulz

20. “Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, ‘oh crap, she’s up!’” – Unknown

21. “Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were gonna do anyway.”

– Robert Downey Jr.

22. “Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.” – Harvey Specter

24. “Don’t worry if people think you’re crazy. You are crazy. You have that kind of intoxicating insanity that lets other people dream outside of the lines and become who they’re destined to be.” – Jennifer Elisabeth

25. “I am the only person in the world I should like to know thoroughly.” – Oscar Wilde

26. “Don’t waste so much time thinking about how much you weigh. There is no more mind-numbing, boring, idiotic, self-destructive diversion from the fun of living.” – Meryl Streep

Funny Quotes About Self-Confidence & Self-Love

If you have low self-esteem or need a confidence boost, these funny self-love quotes will remind you just how awesome you are.

You are always worthy of love, especially if you give it to yourself first.

27. “She had no fucks to give, not even one. And she lived happily ever after.”

– Unknown

28. “Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it’s not like this compulsive need like my need to be praised.” – Michael Scott

30. “Makeup can only make you look pretty on the outside but it doesn’t help if you’re ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the makeup.” – Audrey Hepburn

31. “Just in case no one told you today: Hello. Good morning. You’re doing great. I believe in you. Nice butt.” – Unknown

32. “Know your worth, and then make sure to add tax.” – Unknown

33. “The older you get, the better you get. Unless you’re a banana.”

– Betty White

34. “I don’t wear opinions of others anymore. Learned to dress myself.” – Nikki Rowe

35. “Let your light shine bright so the other weirdos can’t find you” – Unknown

37. “RIP all the hours I spent explaining myself to others.” – Unknown

38. “I think everybody’s weird. We should all celebrate our individuality and not be embarrassed or ashamed of it.” – Johnny Depp

39. “Stretch marks are just rad lil’ lightning strikes here to remind you that you are a force of nature.”

– Unknown

40. “I’m not offended by blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb. And I also know that I’m not blonde.” – Dolly Parton

41. “I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” – Benjamin Franklin

Funny Self-Care Quotes For Those Bad Days

Having a bad mental health day or just need a mood boost? Well, these funny self-love quotes will give you a means of escape and some feel-good self-care.

Let’s start this section off with one of my personal favourites…

42. “Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with assholes.” – William Gibson

43. “If you think you’re too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” – Dalai Lama

45. “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.” – Mark Twain

46. “Don’t forget to drink water and get some sun. You’re basically a houseplant with more complicated emotions.” – Unknown

47. “Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.” – Ellen DeGeneres

48. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” – Cathy Guisewite

49. “I walk around like everything is fine. But deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is falling off.” – Unknown

50. “You can’t make everyone happy. You aren’t tacos.”

– Unknown

51. “Let’s begin by taking a smallish nap or two.” —  A. A. Milne

52. “Sometimes you lie in bed at night and you don’t have a single thing to worry about. That always worries me!” – Charlie Brown

More Inspiring Self-Love Quotes To Give You Motivation

More motivational quotes to inspire you to practice self-love and self-care. 

53. “Even I don’t wake up looking like Cindy Crawford.”

– Cindy Crawford

54. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar

55. “When I was around 18, I looked in the mirror and said, ‘You’re either going to love yourself or hate yourself.’ And I decided to love myself. That changed a lot of things.” – Queen Latifah

56. “We must fall in love with yourselves. I don’t like myself. I’m crazy about myself.” – Mae West

57. “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” – Oprah Winfrey

58. “Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.” Unknown

59. “People think, ‘Oh, I’m loving myself by sitting on this sofa for four hours.’ Love yourself enough to get up!” Alison Sweeney

60. “If it costs you your peace of mind, you’ve overpaid.” – Rigel J. Dawson

61. “Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.”

– Bill Murray

62. “If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.” – Phyllis Diller

63. “Am I good enough? Yes, I am.” – Michelle Obama

64. “It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

And A few Self-Love / Self-Care Quotes To Make You Feel Good

65. “Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it.” – Maya Angelou

66. “Self-care is giving the world the best of you instead of what’s left of you.” – Katie Reed

67. “Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.”

– Dalai Lama

68. “The light in your soul is far greater than the darkness. Shine your light.” – Lailah Gifty Akita

69. “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde

70. “You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” Louise L. Hay

71. “You don’t have to set yourself on fire to keep others warm.” – Penny Reid

72. “If it costs you your peace, it’s too expensive.” – Unknown

73. “Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason so few engage in it.” – Henry Ford

74. “Our plans never turn out as tasty as reality.” – Ram Dass

75. “Now get the hell out of here and go change the world.” – Lucille Ball

Final Thoughts

What I love about these funny self-care quotes is they can (of course) make you chuckle, but they also go so much deeper.

Take some time to reflect on each of these motivational quotes and think about how they apply to your life.

• Can you learn a lesson from one of these quotes?
• Perhaps it can help you change your perspective on a situation?

What’s Your Favorite Funny Self-Care Quote?

Share in the comments below!

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