6 Ways To Accept and Embrace Change When It Feels Hard

We all know that change is inevitable. Whether you’re experiencing change at home, work, with your health, love, etc, it can many times feel overwhelming, so it’s important to not only accept change, but also embrace it so you’re able to move forward.

This can feel most challenging if you’re going through a change that you did not specifically choose.

So, today I am walking through not only why change can feel difficult, but also 6 steps to help you accept change so you can move on.

Why Does Change Feel Difficult?

The challenge with change is that we know we need it to move forward in life, but it feels hard.

Change requires consistency, hard work, and dedication, but this in itself can feel like a huge challenge, especially when the change is something we don’t currently want.

We Love Our Comfort Zone

Change can feel hard because, let’s face it, it’s not comfortable to experience change.

We as a human race like to feel comfortable in so many aspects of life. However, when we stay within our comfort zone, it’s much more challenging to move forward in life, especially when it comes to reaching our goals.

One Change Creates More Change

According to Psychology Today, one of the main reasons change feels so challenging is because change leads to more change. “Changing one habit involves other small-scale changes that you have to be aware of and prepared for.”

For example, if I want to look for a new job, I will need to create a new resume, look for job postings, begin networking with others, and perhaps get some updated training.

This means that I need to create time to do this in my evenings.

To achieve this, I’ll need to make other big changes, such as working on building my confidence and creating a new daily routine to fit in these activities.

The Unknown Can Feel Scary

The reason we love our comfort zone so much is that it’s safe and we know what to expect. When we make changes, there are so many unknowns.

We’re unsure of what the outcome will be, we don’t know if we’ll come out better or worse than our current situation, and we have no idea how we’ll feel.

When we experience change, this can feel scary because we might feel out of control. As a self-proclaimed control freak, this is what scares me most about change.

Two Main Types of Change

2 types of change in life - graphic illustration

Depending on the type of change you are experiencing has a big impact on how easy or hard it is to accept.

1. Change That Happens (Outside Our Control)

This type of change is beyond our control and oftentimes can be unexpected. These are also usually larger life changes that can have a significant impact on us.

Examples:

Job loss
Loss of a loved one
End of a relationship
Health crisis
Financial crisis – recession, stock market crash, etc

2. Change That We Choose

This is change we intentionally seek out, often because we want to grow, improve, or head in a new direction.

These changes feel more empowering because we are the ones initiating them. However, even though we choose them, they can still come with challenges, fear, and resistance.

Examples:

Learning a new skill
Changing your career or changing jobs
Moving to a new city or country
Changing up our daily routines

6 Actionable Steps To Accept Change

6 Steps to Accept Change When It Feels Hard

1. Understand the Type of Change

Understanding the type of change you are experiencing (change we choose, vs. change that happens outside our control) is the first step to accepting that change.

The change we choose is much easier to accept as we ourselves are creating change in our lives to help us move forward in a given direction. Because this is the change we choose, we are already in the process of acceptance.

Change that happens to us, however, is far more difficult to accept, especially if it’s the change we did not expect or did not want.

When you identify that change can be hard, this helps you be aware of your emotions, rather than resisting them.

This leads us to the next step…

2. Identify Your Feelings That Arise

It’s absolutely okay to feel (and embrace) different emotions around change, whether it be frustration, worry, or fear of the unknown.

It’s good to embrace and also identify the variety of feelings that come up when you’re going through change.

Here are a few negative emotions you might be experiencing with change:

Denial
Overwhelm
Loss
Grief
Fear
Uncertainty

The good thing is that even with change you are not choosing, there also might be some positive feelings you experience, such as:

Hope
Curiosity
Optimism
Relief

When you identify your feelings about the change you’re experiencing, you can begin to understand why you feel what you feel.

3. Visualize The Change

Take some time to visualize how the change will feel and how it might alter your life.

Ask yourself these questions:

Will this change impact my daily life? If yes, how?
How can I look upon this change as something positive?
What are the downfalls of this change (if any), and how can I look at these negatives differently?
Why is this change happening, how can I accept it and keep an open mind?

These questions will help you come to terms with the change you are going through so you can accept the change and move forward with it in your life.

4. Accept What You Can Control

In all circumstances, there are things we can control. As we move through change, identifying the things we CAN control can feel really helpful, especially if it’s change we aren’t specifically choosing.

One of the things we can control most is how we feel and how we react. We might automatically feel a certain way or react in a certain way, however, we get to be in control of this narrative – always. Never forget this.

For example…

If we’re in a position where we’ve lost our job, we get to choose how we’re going to move forward.

We also get to choose our perspective on the situation. We can focus on starting fresh, as opposed to rehashing what went wrong.

5. Create An Action Plan

Regardless of the type of change you’re currently going through, having an action plan can help you reach your end goal of accepting this change.

Create an action plan by:

Write down how you’d like to feel when you’ve accepted and embraced this change
Next, identify 3 ways this change will feel easier
Use these 3 things as goals you can set
Brainstorm how you can reach these goals
Take action

Tip: Use this SMART Goals free worksheet to help you identify and reach these goals

6. Support Yourself

For all types of change, it’s important to support yourself – whether it’s change you choose or change that happens to you.

Regardless, having a strong support system helps you to embrace the change as you’re going through it.

A support system can be:

Communicating/sharing with someone close on how you’re feeling
Having an accountability buddy to support you as you’re trying to stick to new habits or goals
Treating yourself with kindness first and foremost – this means allowing yourself to take small steps (acceptance doesn’t happen overnight)
Looking after yourself by practicing self love and self care
Having a growth mindset to help you keep going
Supporting our mental health by talking to a therapist

Final Thoughts

Change is an inevitable part of life, but that doesn’t always make it easy, especially when it’s unexpected or out of our control.

By understanding the type of change you’re experiencing, identifying your emotions, visualizing your future, and creating an action plan, you can begin to not only accept change but embrace it as an opportunity for growth.

This quote nicely sums up the experience of change…

“Change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and gorgeous at the end.”
— Robin Sharma

The key here is that change is inevitable, necessary, and a part of life, so the goal is to do what you can to accept change, even when it feels next to impossible.

Change isn’t always fair, however, doing the work to keep living a life you want is part of moving forward and moving on.

More resources to support you:

About Yolanda

Website Owner / Content Creator

I’m passionate about helping you live life to the fullest so you can choose to find happiness and purpose. Learn how to CREATE THE LIFE YOU LOVE with intentional living and discovery of the simple things life has to offer. Learn more!