How To Use The 5×5 Rule To Gain Perspective & Reduce Stress

I love learning about new ways to manage stress and worry, as let’s face it, we all need this at some point in our lives. So I came across a new strategy (well, new to me) that’s been around for a few years. It’s known as the 5 by 5 rule.

I’ve learned what it is, how you can use it, plus how I’ve personally been using the 5 by 5 rule in my life.

Let’s get into it!

What Exactly is the 5 by 5 Rule?

The 5×5 rule is a simple mindset tool commonly used for managing stress and overwhelm. 

It means: “If it won’t matter in 5 years, don’t spend more than 5 minutes upset about it.” 

This rule helps you do a quick check-in with yourself so you can pause, gain perspective, and let go of small frustrations or worries that aren’t worth your long-term energy. 

So often, we let the little stresses build up, and over time, too many of these small worries can feel huge.

To prevent this from happening, using the 5 by 5 rule can help us realize that what feels big in the moment is actually a small issue, and it won’t matter over the long term. This way we can be aware of it, but then allow ourselves to let it go.

How it Works:

When you’re feeling stressed or upset, ask yourself if the issue will still matter 5 years from now. 

If the answer is no, try to release it quickly and move on. This helps you move on from letting negative emotions take over and keeps your focus on what truly matters.

If the answer is yes, (the issue will matter in 5 years), then it’s worth more of your time, energy, and attention. In this case, the 5×5 rule encourages you to slow down, reflect, and take meaningful steps to handle the situation.

For the things that will matter in 5 years…

Of course, some situations and stressors are something you will care about in 5 years and in that case, take the time to…

1. Pause and reflect.
   Give yourself space to think clearly instead of reacting emotionally.
   
2. Identify what you can control.
   Focus on actions or choices that can move things forward or help you cope.
   
3. Make a plan.
   Break the issue down into small steps. This helps reduce overwhelm and gives you a clear path forward.
   
4. Ask for support.
   If it’s something big — like a relationship issue, major life change, or long-term goal — talk it out with someone you trust or seek professional guidance from a therapist, coach or mentor.

When To Use the 5×5 Rule

These are the two key areas I like to use the 5×5 rule in life…

Managing Anxiety & Stress

When anxiety begins to take over, using the 5×5 rule is a good tool to help you bring perspective to what you’re feeling anxious over. 

So often, something that feels like a big deal can actually be a small issue. The key is to be able to identify this. 

For example, years ago, I went to an interview, and while they were asking me some ridiculous question (not related to the job at all), I had a panic attack. My words wouldn’t come out, I couldn’t breathe, and I started panicking. I had to stop and take a short break before we continued.

At the time, I felt like I had completely lost it, and I knew the interview went down the drain.

However, if I had known about the 5×5 rule at that time, I could have moved on from the experience sooner. You see, I knew I wasn’t interested in the job or the company, and yet I let it really get to me.

If I had asked myself, ‘Will this matter in 5 years?’ I would have known from the moment that, ‘heck, no – it would not’.

When New Opportunities Arise

Using the 5×5 rule can also be a powerful tool to help you decide how to make a decision. 

For example, let’s say you’ve been offered a job opportunity to live in a different country. The job is a lower level than what you’d like, so you’re torn on whether to take it or not.

When you ask yourself, ‘Will this matter in 5 years?’, it may give you perspective to make the right choice faster, as it’ll be easier to weigh the pros and cons of making this big change or not.

In a different case, you may have just had a big, blow-up argument with your spouse over something small, and your immediate reaction is to blow it out of proportion and question your entire relationship. 

Asking ‘Will this matter in 5 years?’ might make you realize that you are, in fact, making a mountain out of a mole hill, and this argument was just a small thing you can solve.

Using the 5 by 5 Rule in All Areas of Life

The great thing about the 5 by 5 rule is that it can apply to all areas of our lives – in our personal lives as well as professional – as let’s face it, stress and overwhelm can build up in every corner of life, if we let it.

Some of the key areas of life that this can help us are:

• Career – Ideal when needing to make a career choice or gain perspective on something that didn’t go as planned
• Relationships – To help us see the big picture after a disagreement, or to understand if we need to make a big change
• Health – You might be beating yourself up over not sticking to your eating and fitness routine for the week & the 5×5 rule will help you see that this isn’t as big a deal as you initially think
• Finances – You can gain perspective on feeling guilty about buying something small or it can help make a bigger decision like buying a specific house