41 Self-Soothing Techniques To Calm Your Nervous System

Self-soothing is something we typically think of when it comes to babies. However, I’ve been doing some research, and it turns out that there are many self-soothing techniques for adults that can be extremely helpful to reduce stress and anxiety.

As someone who’s been dealing with heightened stress for a while, I’m going to start using self-soothing techniques I can do regularly.

Today I’m sharing the self-soothing techniques and exercises I’ll be using and will come back and report how they’ve been going.

Before I share, I wanted to give a little background first…

Why I’m Learning About Self-Soothing Exercises

In the past 6 months, I have been dealing with 24/7 chronic pain, and my doctors keep telling me I need to calm my nervous system. 

I have been beside myself and starting to feel hopeless due to the daily intense pain, even though I am the most optimistic person by nature. My anxiety has been building, and I’ve realized I’ve been self-soothing in some unhealthy ways – which is causing me more stress.

So, I’m going to try some strategies in the hope of helping me manage the pain, and the first is using some self-soothing techniques.

I do believe that mind over matter is real, so I’m getting to work to see if this helps.

9 Self-Soothing Activities I’m Trying

There are so many ways that people can self-soothe and many are personal to each individual. What works for me may not be as effective for you. 

So, below I’m sharing the self-soothing exercises I’ll be trying, but I’ll also leave a longer list of other common ways to self-soothe towards the bottom of this post.

1. Deep Breathing Mini Breaks

Throughout my day, I often notice my chest becoming tighter as stress builds, so my plan is to take some regular deep breathing mini breaks throughout the day.

To make it achievable for myself, each breathing mini break will be just 3 minutes. I will close my eyes and focus on each breath – in and out.

To help me make this a habit, I’m going to:

• Do a breathing mini break every time I need to get up from my desk. This way, I know I’ll be doing it regularly. 
• Put some post-it notes in various places to help remind myself – the bathroom mirror, monitor, by the kettle, on the coffee table.

There are many deep breathing exercises out there that help reduce anxiety, like box breathing or 4-7-8 breathing, but I’m simple and just like to do deep belly breathing. It’s what feels most natural to me.

2. Stretching

I’m going to pair stretching with my mini deep breathing breaks, as it comes naturally to me to do both in the same session.

I will also spend more time stretching before bed and first thing in the morning.

3. Make a Self-Soothing Kit

The idea is to place a number of items in a box that are easy to access. These items are anything that helps calm the body and mind.

Many people recommend using your 5 senses to build your self-soothing kit. I love this and I already have a long list I wrote of little things I love for each of my 5 senses.

I’m going to refer to this list to see if there is anything I can add to my kit. You can check out my list here: 125 Simple Pleasures To Fill Your Life with Joy

Here’s what I’m adding to my self-soothing kit:

• Mint tea (taste & scent)
• Lavender essential oil (scent)
• Cozy Blanket (touch)
• Jasper Worry Stone (touch)
• Heating compression bag (touch)
• Candle (sight & scent)
• Mediation music (sound)

I plan to add to this kit over time, but this is a good start.

4. More Hugs from my Weighted Stuffed animal

Yes, I am an adult, but when my husband picked up Hallie the Highland Cow for me, I cried. Not only have I always LOVED Highland cows, but this is designed to wrap its long arms around your neck and give an amazing hug.

We all know that hugs feel good, but they actually promote the production of oxytocin (the love hormone). Oxytocin helps reduce stress but also promotes restfulness, which is important to feel calmer.

We can’t always get hugs all day long from people, so Hallie The Highland Cow, who is 2.2 pounds and supersoft, might just be the next best thing.

5. Spend More Time Outside

It’s winter, so I’m not getting outside as much, but when I do, I can feel my stress begin to lift away, even when it’s freezing.

I’m going to begin having my morning tea outside with my pup and once the weather gets a little warmer, I’ll make sure to spend a good portion of my day outside.

Also, when it is warm enough to take my shoes off, I’ll take in some grounding time on the grass. 

6. Mindful Walking

Walking is something that relaxes me a ton, but taking it a step further, walking with mindfulness can take the benefits of walking to a whole other level.

Being mindful when walking simply means letting go of any negative emotions and focusing on the present moment. Take everything in, and again using your 5 senses is a great way to do this.

Think about what you see, feel, smell, hear and taste.

I will be using a grounding technique called the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method.

Here’s how it works:

• Identify 5 things you see
• 4 you touch
• 3 you hear
• 2 you smell
• 1 you taste

Something else I love to do is ‘gratitude walking’. Learn about the 4 types of gratitude walks you can take.

7. Hot Shower

Having a nice hot shower always relaxes me, but if I’m feeling super anxious, I’m going to jump in the shower even if I’ve already had one that day. I think just 5 minutes of hot water will help a lot.

If I don’t have time for a hot shower, I will run hot water over a facecloth and let it sit on my face for a few minutes.

8. Twinkly Lights

Positive Psychology recommends having soothing imagery to help self-soothe. So I’ve treated myself to these twinkly lights. I’ve always loved the lights at Christmas time, but who says you can’t have them up all year long?!

I think I’ll put them in my living room so I can enjoy them first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

9. Butterfly Hug

The Butterfly Hug is a type of EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing).

EMDR works by targeting specific events, memories, negative beliefs, intense emotions, and strong body sensations, then desensitizing the client to those feelings and memories. (Source)

I have tried EMDR in the past and it’s been extremely helpful to move through past traumatic events.

The Butterfly Hug is an EMDR technique that helps with anxiety and stress reduction.

You combine deep breathing and tapping while placing your hands on your chest in the shape of a butterfly. See how it works below…

32 More Self-Soothing Techniques

Above is what I’m focusing on at the moment, but here are even more ways you could self-soothe.

Below are more self-soothing ideas you can use based on your 5 senses…

When Should You Use Self-Soothing Techniques?

Most of us know when we need to relax or take care of ourselves better, yet we might choose to ignore the signs. 

So, here are times when self-soothing can be truly beneficial, so you can support overwhelming emotions and anxious thoughts.

• Consistent racing thoughts
• Can’t relax
• Stressful day at work
• Feeling sad or confused
• Going through a tough time in general
• Focusing on anything has been a challenge
• Feeling burnt out and overwhelmed

More Support for Your Emotional Well-being:

• Building a Happy Week Self-Care Worksheets
• 10 Ways To Make Time for Yourself When It Feels Impossible
• 75 Self-Care Ideas That Only Take 5 Minutes
• 6 Ways To Accept Change When It Feels Hard