Who wants to be happy?! Right here. Me please! Are you with me?
No matter what our situation, where we are from, what we believe in or what we stand for, we want happiness. It’s the ultimate quest.
We are seeking that feeling of elation and contentment as much as possible.
The challenge: Our lives are complex, we are moving too fast and sadness can sometimes creep in and stay for a prolonged, unwelcomed visit on our sofa.
When times get tough I’m a believer that putting the right plan into place will put you in a better situation and set you up to find your happiness again.
Related: Find Your Happiness – One Small Moment at a Time
Here are some tools I’ve used that will help you improve your happiness, even when you’re sad.
1. Identify What’s Making You Sad.
A specific event?
A person?
Months of stress?
Not looking after yourself?
Lonely?
Feeling misunderstood?
Write down absolutely everything that’s making you feel sad. My hope is that the list is small, but if it is large (we’ve all been there), keep writing. Just getting your list of what’s upsetting you on paper identifies that it’s a real thing and not to be overlooked.
2. Once Identified, Acknowledge It.
I don’t know about you, but sometimes I blame myself for not feeling great. However, if you have real, legitimate sadness – let’s acknowledge it and confront it head-on. It’s not making you feel good, so you want to let it go.
Once you write down what you’re upset about, go ahead and share your list with a close loved one. Let them know that you’re sharing this as part of your healing process.
I shared a list like this with my husband and best friend and it made me feel good knowing they understood me a little more. It also felt great to get it off my chest.
3. Conquer That Sadness.
Write down 3 ways to conquer your sadness.
The goal is to help the sadness go away completely or reduce the pain of the sadness.
How you tackle this will be unique to you. Some ideas:
- See a therapist. Talk therapy can be extremely beneficial for so many people. If you haven’t tried it, I encourage you to give it a go. I understand you might be hesitant, but dedicating this time to you is so important to get to the bottom of what’s got you down and a good therapist will give you the tools to take real action.
- Remove yourself. Whether you remove yourself from a situation or away from people who get you down, this is an important step. Many times certain people or situations are triggers to our problems, so while things are extra tough, do your best to avoid.
- Take a break. Whether it’s a physical break, a mental break, a vacation… it’s however you define it. The point is it put yourself in a good place – a place that makes it hard to feel bad. Maybe it’s a yoga class, maybe it’s a big trip, maybe it’s taking a 30 minute walk every day where you listen to awesome tunes as you move.
Depending on what’s going on, you may just need a few small pick me ups. Here are some related articles that can help.
- Self Care 101. 9 Ways to Look After You
- 20 Quotes to Give You Strength When You’re Feeling Low
- Today is a Good Day! 15 Inspiring Quotes to Live in the Present
- Happiness Advice from the Kids in Our Life
4. Take Action
If you have started the 3rd step, that means you’ve written down 3 ways to conquer that sadness. Excellent!
Take your 3 ways to conquer your sadness and stick with it for a solid month. That’s right – really stick to it. After one month, take note of the following:
How do I feel?
What’s working? What’s not working?
What else would I like to try?
5. Don’t Stop This Process.
Always be aware of what makes you feel sad, upset or stressed and follow these steps as a regular self care routine.
To help you out download this FREE worksheet which has space to collect your thoughts and go through the 5 steps we’ve walked through above.
I hope this has given you some ideas to get you on the right track to open yourself up to happiness, even when there are tough times.
As always, thanks for stopping by.
*Note: I am not an expert on mental health issues, but I do enjoy sharing the techniques I personally use. I hope these tips help bring great experiences and happiness to your life.
Did you find this helpful? If so, please share…
Learn How to Open Yourself up to Happiness, Even When You're Sad. 5 Actionable steps + FREE worksheet. #happiness #MentalHealthMatters Click To Tweet
Helpful advice! I haven’t tried this out before and definitely will when I’m feeling down. Thank you 🙂
Thanks Ellen. I’m so HAPPY to hear (pun intended!!) that it’s helpful.
Aww this is so nice. Imma share it on my FB page 🙂
Thanks so much Yissel. Much appreciated 🙂
This is great advice for when you need to pick yourself up out of a sad/bad mood!
Thanks Keri! I think it’s really all about putting your mind to change and improvement with a plan of action 🙂
I’ll definitely give it a try thanks for the wonderfull advice
Thanks Nath – I hope you find it helpful 🙂
I needed to read this today. I’m really struggling with depression lately, but it all stems from being sad. Thank you!
Sorry to hear that Summer. I hope this helps a little. This time of year doesn’t help either. It’s been grey every day this week here. Hang in there xox
What a great article! I’m always trying my best to be positive and happy, but it can be hard to do that when you’re feeling down. These are some great tips. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks Carly!
I love these suggestions, Yolanda! I really like your tip to not only identify what’s making your sad, but also to write it down and then SHARE IT with someone. That last step is really helpful for me. When I can talk about my feelings, it helps me process them a bit more. Additionally, the person I’m talking with (usually my husband) can offer their outsider’s opinion, which usually provides a silver lining to the situation. Sometimes it’s hard for me to step back and see the bigger picture, but having that other person to talk with helps me find the positive much quicker.
Thanks so much for your feedback Paula. I have to say, I was never good with sharing either, but by putting a real plan together and specifically sharing the list is so helpful. Glad to hear you think it’ll be helpful for you too!
Yes! Acknowledging hurts is so important but we can’t let that paralyze or define us.
Wonderful steps to take back that happiness!
Thanks Rebecca 🙂
This is such a wonderful post. I love that you’ve added to acknowledge the sadness rather than just trying to pretend it’s not there. xx
Thanks so much Wendy 🙂 Yeah, I’ve tried to pretend it’s not there before, like I think a lot of people do and it just comes back. Not a good plan!
I love this! Sometimes there is a specific event that causes sadness and sometimes you just feel sad and you don’t even know why. I love the idea of acknowledging these feelings in order to conquer them and let them go. The action step is very important! It is not easy, but sometimes you just have to choose happiness and find a way to make it happen. These are wonderful tips and I am already contemplating my choices!
Hey Brittany, thanks for your feedback. Like you say, we can be sad and don’t even know why at times – and that’s actually when I originally went through this process. It’s amazing how truly knowing what’s getting us down can help get rid of those feelings.
This is great advice. Too often we try to mitigate sadness when oftentimes it’s a feeling that needs to be felt.
Thanks Erin 🙂 Interesting perspective, I agree with you. If we don’t experience feeling down, then we wouldn’t appreciate the good stuff as much.
All of your posts are just amazing! It’s like you write everything I need to hear! 😊 Usually when I’m feeling down I write down a list of what I’m thankful for. Although this helps a little, writing down what exactly is bothering me FIRST sounds like it would help me out so much better! I’m definitely going to try and start doing this!
You are so sweet! Thanks so much! Really happy you’re going to try it. If you get the chance I’d love to know if doing this was helpful for you. Thanks for your sweet note!
Thanks, I like the systematic approach it works.
Thanks Rachel! I’m a planner so I find this does work.
This is so similar to my blog post today. Great read.
Oh really! I’ll have to find yours and check it out 🙂
This is such a great reminder! I am horrible at bottling all my feelings up.
Thanks Jennifer. Hope it helped 🙂
Great advice!! I’ll have to follow this and keep as s reminder!!
Thanks Erin. I hope you do 🙂
These are great! I don’t really share my feelings a lot. I internalize everything. I always turn to journaling or prayer when something is wrong. I’m trying to get into the habit of listing things that I’m thankful for. Thanks for sharing!!
Great article. It’s hard to pull yourself out when you are in a stupor of thoughts and emotions. But attitude can make so much of a difference.
It’s true. Attitude and our choice about our attitude can change everything. Thanks for the note Rebecca!
I love this! I’ve always been one to believe that you can find happiness and joy, even when you’re going through a rough time, you just have to find a way to embrace it.
Hey Crystal! Thanks 🙂 For sure, I definitely agree.
Loving this step by step approach!!
Great advice, Yolanda! Everyone has their days, and these are awesome tips to keep you going and living life!
Thanks Sophie. Glad it was helpful 🙂
Loved this article. I use this advice a lot when I am having rough days. Thanks for posting! definitely sharing to others!
I have found that sometimes allowing myself a few minutes to really feel the sadness makes it easier to let it go.
I love this advice. I have struggled for years with depression and know how important it is to do the things that help.
Great advice to keep in mind for those dreadful times we all have. Thanks for sharing these techniques!
Hey Veronica – thanks 🙂