Remember those days in school when we all learned about the birds and the bees? Or think about when you were a teenager and you thought that if you got too close to a guy you could get pregnant?! Many people spend years trying NOT to conceive. So much time is focused on preventing pregnancy that no one ever dreams there might be an issue when they WANT to start trying for a baby.
In today’s world we see women focusing on their career and thinking they have PLENTY of time to have a baby. We see older moms everywhere and assume that when we’re ready, we can take a few months trying and boom – pregnancy!
But what happens when it’s not that easy? What happens when pregnancy doesn’t come?
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In most cases women are not told by their doctors that the chances of conceiving dramatically reduce at the age of 35.
According to my fertility doctors and Parents.com “…35 seems to be the point where fertility declines. The most common reason is reduced egg quality, Dr. Pagidas explains. You may have plenty of eggs to work with, but they’re likely to have more chromosomal defects that affect their viability. You’re also at a little greater risk of miscarriage, a down syndrome pregnancy or an abnormal pregnancy.”
According to fertility doctor's, the chances of conceiving dramatically reduce at the age of 35 and take a nosedive at 38. #infertilityawareness Click To TweetAlso, according to many sources fertility takes a serious nosedive at age 38.
For all those who plan to have a baby at some point, here’s some critical information for you…
The likelihood of pregnancy by age (% per cycle):
20-25: 25%, (5-10% risk of miscarriage)
26-29: 20% (5-10% risk of miscarriage)
30-34: 15%, (20% risk of miscarriage)
35-39: 10% (25% risk of miscarriage)
40: 5% (33% risk of miscarriage)
At the age of 40 the risk of down syndrome is 1 in 82 births. This significantly increases with each year.
I have not shared the above to scare anyone, but more to educate.
I WISH there was more education to all women about this topic, to prevent the heartache and pain that can come with trying to conceive in your late 30’s.
If we were all aware that fertility takes such a rapid decline at the age of 35, we might be able to put a little more control back in our hands.
So, TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR.
If you’re 35+ and trying to conceive, doctors and fertility clinics recommend you making an appointment if you’ve been trying unsuccessfully for 6 months. If you’re younger they recommend you contacting them after 1 year of trying.
>>RELATED: The Pain of Infertility and 8 Things I’ve Learned
From my experience here are my biggest words of advice and some considerations for you or your loved ones…
THINK ABOUT FREEZING YOUR EGGS
If you are single and getting close to 35 – have you thought about freezing your eggs? This may or may not be a good idea for you, but why not educate yourself on the process. It may be the difference between having a baby in the future or not.
To get more information on this, speak with your family doctor about getting you a referral to a doctor at a local fertility clinic.
PREPARE FOR PREGNANCY AT LEAST 90 DAYS IN ADVANCE
I’m sure you know about taking prenatal vitamins, but did you know you can improve your egg quality through other supplements and diet change?
The eggs you are releasing today are actually 90 days old. This means that if you are planning to start trying to conceive you should be treating your body like a temple at least 90 days beforehand.
An extremely informative and helpful book that describes this in more detail is called ‘It Starts With The Egg’, by Rebecca Fett. This is a book my naturopaths swear by and plan detailed fertility diet recommendations from.
GET SUPPORT
If you are struggling with infertility, please don’t keep it to yourself. This is SO important. It might seem hard or uncomfortable sharing your struggle, but you will find that those who love you most can be there for you.
Many people going through infertility can get severe depression and anxiety, so with any other illness, you need your loved ones close to help you get through it.
Please share this article with those who are thinking of having a baby, especially if they are in their 30’s.
If the education about infertility and the struggle to conceive in your 30’s was more commonly known, fewer women would have to go through years of trying to conceive and expensive/invasive medical procedures.
Note: The above information is from my own experience with infertility. I am by no means an official expert (although I feel like one at times!), so if you are struggling please get your doctor to put you in contact with a fertility specialist.
RELATED:
How to Live with Infertility. 6 Tips for Healing.
A Message to Childless Hopeful Parents
The Pain of Infertility and 8 Things I’ve Learned
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Dear Future Mama. A Note to all Women Who Plan to Conceive #infertilityawareness Click To Tweet
This is such a great read. I think sometimes people take it for granted that it’s going to be easy to conceive but it’s not always the case. It only took us 4 months so we were lucky.
Such a great post! Love how informative this post is. I’m turning 35 soon and want to have another one but it’s mostly everything you said here that scare me to even try.
Belle | One Awesome Momma
Thanks Belle! Oh I don’t want you to be scared, but more to know the facts and use them to your advantage so you can plan accordingly 🙂 I wish I knew this when I was under 35.
Very informative article that is helpful for those trying to conceive. I’m so thankful I didn’t have any issues and can only imagine how difficult it can be for those who struggle with it.
Thanks Cara 🙂
I love this!! My husband and I have been TTC for the last 6 years — the percentages are scary…real and so scary!
I read some of It Starts With The Egg and started making some changes…but I almost feel like I have to live in a bubble!!
xo, Lily
Beauty With Lily
Love this post so much. Infertility and miscarriage are honestly two of my greatest fears. In fact, my sister and I were just talking about it today on the phone on our weekly chats. It’s so real for so many women. But you’re right–so super important to reach out. Friends of mine just had a baby after EIGHT years of trying, and I cried so many happy tears when I found out they were pregnant.
Thanks so much Kristen. Gosh – 8 years… that’s tough and so amazing they got pregnant in the end 🙂
This is such great information. I was in my twenties when my husband and I started trying. Seven years later and nothing. Fertility specialists gave me a less than 1% of conceiving with fertility treatments. But then…I did. It really is nothing short of a miracle, but as you said maintaining a healthy lifestyle helped. I also tried to keep a positive attitude and I really think it made a difference! I send my love and prayers to everyone who is trying!
Thanks for your feedback Brittany 🙂 So wonderful you were able to conceive after all those years trying xo
These stats really scare me. I am almost 30 and I dont plan on having kids anytime soon. But everyone shouldbe aware of the complications that can come up when ready.
Knowledge is power 🙂 …and most women don’t have troubles conceiving, but the older you get the harder. You still have lots of time, but it’s always good to know about this stuff (I wish I had).
This post is excellent. We were blessed with having an easy time conceiving, but I long who told my husband the day I turn 35 was the day I was done having kids, mostly to avoid the extra risks.
Thanks Heather 🙂
This is great advice. I have several friends who keep talking about how they want kids, but “don’t feel ready yet.” And I’m trying to convince them that they will probably never feel 100% ready for such a new adventure, but that now might be a better time because we are in our early 30’s.
Keep trying to convince them! I think we all feel like we’re invincible and everything will come easy, but that’s not always the case. Early 30’s I think is a great time 🙂
So educational – good read. My husband and I are going to start “trying” in January, and I couldn’t be more glad. I’ve had baby fever since we got married over two years ago. I’m nervous it’ll be hard, but in my experience, I’m believing for it all to be smooth and in God’s timing!
Thanks Summer 🙂 Exciting. I hope all goes well for you both!
Thanks for sharing this. Information is so key and if it is not shared how will people know. I think looking into freezing your eggs is a great option.
You’re welcome 🙂 I definitely think freezing eggs is a good option… I would have done that if I’d known. Thanks for the feedback!
Very informative article thank you for the information. This is something I will pass on to other women.
Thanks – and that’s wonderful if you can share with others… so important xo
I just turned 32 and have no plans for a baby yet, so it is a little scary. I think 35 is my cut-off point but I don’t have long and just don’t feel ready. SO much to think about!
I have a friend who was in your shoes and I talked to her about freezing her eggs – and she did! It’s always an option 🙂 At least when we have this info decisions can be made.
Speaking from experience I became a new mom again at 40 after several miscarriages in my early 20s. I had a 14 year old daughter and a newlywed at the time. My son was born 27 weeks and 4 days early. He spent 3 in NICU. He is a miracle baby. I have no regrets. If you’re a woman over 40 considering having a baby talk to your doctor first.
Awe, congrats on your little one. He is a miracle 🙂
As much as I struggled to read this article (I am in my early 30’s, no children yet, but want to have children one day) this was a very informative post that all moms-to-be in their 30’s should take note of.. I was aware of most of the information already, and it is worrying. I think a lot of women are waiting until after their careers are established or debts are paid of (my situation) so that they can feel more ready to bring a child into the world.
Yeah, reading this info can be disheartening – but still so good to know. I’ve always been career driven and never dreamed there would be any issues conceiving. I just WISH I knew this when I was younger. I started trying after 35 and haven’t been able to conceive… so my goal is to share this knowledge with as many women as possible so they don’t have to go through what I’ve gone through xo
I have 2 kids right now and my husband and I aren’t sure if we want one more. I said I’ll give myself until I’m 35 to decide. By then if we don’t get pregnant then we are for sure done. I am 33 now so that give us 2 years. I’ve heard about the risk of being 35 and older to have a baby and that scares me.
This is really great information. I like that you point out this interesting phenomena that occurs- when we are younger we do almost everything we can to avoid getting pregnant and then at some point that switches to doing everything we can to get pregnant (for those that want to). I can see, especially after 35, why the body might be a little confused by those messages over the years (like if you took birth control for decades as an example). Just a thought- I had never been pregnant not do I want to be but I still appreciate this very much.
Thanks Andrea 🙂 You make a great point about the body being confused. It also doesn’t help that we live in a world full of toxins and chemicals – which never helps.
I shared. I believe that your sharing of your experience and what you have learned along the way can help many.
This is good information
Thanks for sharing this
It’s funny how we may fear pregnancy at one point in our lives then want to have it later on. We need to educate women more about pregnancy and not frighten them as it is often done
Enjoyed this post. I am a mom of 4 and miscarried one. The journey to motherhood is definitely different for everyone and we all need to stick together and support one another!
Really informative post!! Thank you for this!
Beautifully written. I am lucky enough to be blessed with 4 healthychildren at an early age. Sadly, we lost our 4th child in between our 3rd and 5th. So when our daughter was born, she was my angel.My husband and I tried again when I was 40, even though we knew there were risks but I felt it it was meant to be it would happen. But it just wasn’t God’s plan. Now at 45, I’m enjoying my time with them each and every day. I too believe that your sharing own experience and what you have learned can help educate or give insight to others. And to talk with your ob/gyn and explore all options whether it be freezing your eggs, fertility or even adoption.
A very informative read for anyone considering motherhood!
Im so lucky because in my early 30s I had two pregnancies in three months of trying. But then the not wanting to get pregnant comes back on the other end. Now I am 40 and am on the other end. I think alot of stignma about infertililty or issues have been lifted, but im sure there is still some headway to make here.
Great info! I am 32 and don’t plan on anymore kids so good thing I am done with babies but I have a lot of friends in their thirties that just now decided they want kids and they have more obstacles now but this is just good info to know going into a pregnancy in your thirties.
My heart goes out to women struggling with the pain and disappointment of infertility. Pinning for followers.
Thanks Alexandra for sharing 🙂
There really isn’t enough info shared about this. I am still praying, trusting and believing for one more after 2 miscarriages this year. I am 35 but I know it’s not too late!
Great insight for moms and future moms!
Amazing statistics! My heart goes out to anyone struggling with fertility.
Thanks Lisa 🙂 I want to share this with maany so others don’t have to go through what I’ve personally gone through x
That’s an informative post. It is good to have all the facts ahead of time so that women can plan accordingly. Lack of knowledge is what makes conceiving harder sometimes.
Wow! This is a beautiful post. I am only twenty-three, I’m single and have no children. I always say that I would want to spend my first couple of years of marriage without children. Because I can’t see the future and do not know when I will get married, I cannot predict my age when I will begin trying for a baby, if I decide to have one. I struggle with it and go back and forth on whether I want children or not. Either way, though I have time, I have considered risks of waiting until my 30s.
Thanks so much AmberLynn! You have lots of time if you do want kids and – knowledge is power. It’s just good to be aware of this as it seems it’s rarely talked about.
This is such a great post. It took us a year for me to be pregnant . Some people do think it’s that easy but really to conceive takes more than anyone thinks.
Thanks Anna. I agree – it truly is a miracle and can definitely take time.
I think this is a really important message–people don’t realize how much age really does matter when it comes to babies! After my experience, I would definitely say don’t wait too long–started trying when I was 23, not old at all, but it’s been a long journey, and our first pregnancy ended in miscarriage, and the baby I’m pregnant with now will be born about three years after we started trying. I had no idea it would be this long of a journey, especially with starting at a relatively young age–I think our long journey would have been even more difficult if I were closer to that 35 number.
This is such an informative article! Many people think they will be able to conceive as soon as it is convenient for them. Knowing the facts will help them better prepare for the future.
You’re so right, we spend so much time trying not to conceive and then when it comes time the process can be a roller coaster. There is so much I didn’t know before we starting trying to have a baby. It can be scary and lonely, so it’s so important to have a good support system. The loved ones who helped us along our journey were simply incredible.
Wow! I am so glad I read this. People always say you’re young you have plenty of time for babies but its like is my fertility young? Totally makes me think of conceiving and trying for a baby in a different light.
This was a great read. I have heard about the ages that limit us with having miscarriages and we are more prone to having an unhealthy baby the older we get. I was just talking about this the other day lol. Thank you for this
Thanks for sharing this. We don’t talk enough about maternal health in the US. I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) when I was trying to get pregnant and I had never heard of it, even though it is the #1 cause of female infertility. I am lucky and was still able to conceive 3 healthy children but many women cannot, often without clear answers as to why.
Good read! Scary facts for those of us that are not planning to conceive soon and are nearing certain age frames.
Great article. I do have a different view of this whole thing. Well, I am over 35 and still single. Of course, I’d like to have gotten married and have kids by now. But, alas, my Prince Charming is riding a turtle and get lost somewhere, probably in the woods. 😊 I don’t think about freezing my eggs because I can’t afford it. If I get married and have trouble conceiving because of my late age, I am not gonna be disheartened and I am not gonna opt for fertility treatments. I’m gonna go for the adoption process in a heart beat. There are so many babies that can use our loving care.
Good viewpoint 🙂 I’m sure your prince charming is out there looking for you right now! I wish it were that easy in Canada. The fact is that adoption is very long, difficult and expensive here, and adopting a baby is almost unheard of. Where do you live?
I don’t think people realize how long it can really take to conceive. I went 5 years before getting pregnant with my son. If I had started later, my chances would’ve decreased. This is a great wakeup call to anyone who wants kids but maybe thinks they’ll just wait until they are older and then pop them out. Doesn’t always work that easy!
Thanks for sharing Tiffany 🙂 I truly think it’s so important people learn more in this area, so there isn’t as much heartbreak. 5 years is a long time at any age, so I really happy you received your blessing finally.
I agree with you 100% that we need more education for fertility issues. I had my first of 4 kids at 30, and suffered a miscarriage after age 35. I think if I had realized what I know now about declining fertility and pregnancy complications, I would probably have made different life choices.
So true. I’ve always been amazed that it’s not a conversation that doctors are having. You are a lucky lady Kyla – with 4 kids 🙂
I’m turning 30 this year and this is something that is always in the back of my mind. I hope to have a baby in a year or two though so fingers crossed everything will go smoothly
You still have lots of time and I too hope it all works out for you 🙂 The powerful thing is knowing the situation so you can plan accordingly! Thanks for the note Portia!
Brilliant post – infertility is such an important topic that isn’t spoken about nearly half as much as it should be. I wish when I was younger, I was more educated about the problems women can experience when trying to conceive. I spent so many years preventing pregnancy and then when I decided I wanted a family – it didn’t happen. I was oblivious to the whole concept of infertility until I experienced it myself. We need to keep the conversation alive!
Hi Heather, Thank so much for your comment. Sounds like we have been in a similar situation so I hope life has treated you well despite your infertility. Agree too – it is SO important to raise awareness around infertility as not enough people talk about it. xo