People may think you are not a mom or dad… that you are not a parent, but you are.
YOUR HEART IS LIKE ANY OTHER PARENT.
It has been open to the dream of the day you conceive, the day your child is born, your child’s first birthday, the first time they say those 3 magical words ‘I love you’. You have played out these moments in your heart and mind a million times.
You know the kind of values you’ll want to instil in your child. You already have the traditions from your childhood planned that you want your child to enjoy. Friday family movie night, putting the Christmas tree up the first weekend of December and blowing the light out at night just like your Dad did for you.
YOU LOVE YOUR ‘HOPEFUL CHILD’. YOU DREAM ABOUT THEM ALL THE TIME.
You know that moment in your dream that you discover you actually have a baby! You are SO proud of them. You find yourself bragging about your baby to all your friends, and being so proud at the way you have mastered putting on that diaper. You look at your spouse with such love that you actually have a child together… so YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS to have a child.
THIS LOVE, HOPE AND YEARNING MAKES YOU A PARENT.
You may be spending all of your current time as a doggy mommy or daddy, as you are passing on that love to the closest thing you have control over, and thank god for that doggy (or kitty) as they provide so much love.
This journey of waiting and waiting to officially be a parent means you are ALL IN. You have most likely gone through A LOT to try and become a parent, and the good news is most of you WILL be an official parent one day (whether it’s through successful fertility treatments, adoption or perhaps becoming a step parent). You and your spouse may even naturally become pregnant when you have decided to stop trying.
THIS DRIVE AND DESIRE OF BECOMING A MOM OR DAD MAKES YOU A PARENT.
Hopeful parents; while you are going through this time in your life remember to:
Speak up about your parenting thoughts.
When you’re with friends tell them that you have the heart of a parent, even if you don’t have the specific experience.
Treat yourself and your relationship with utmost care.
It’s extremely important that you treat yourself and partner with love and cherish all the good you have in your life right now.
Practise self care more than any other time in your life.
Your health and well being will get you through the challenges of trying to conceive and for a potential long waiting game. So, look after yourself and be purposeful with your self care routine.
Tell people how you feel.
If they are saying insensitive things to you, tell them that their comments have hurt you. Also, give them your perspective, so they can try and understand your experience a little more. Opening up to friends and family actually does a world of good.
If you feel comfortable – speak out.
Infertility is a lonely place. By talking about it and not keeping it a secret makes it easier on yourself and other hopeful parents out there. Unfortunately, people feel infertility can be a bit of a taboo subject and it shouldn’t be. Remember 1 in 6 Canadian and 1 in 8 American couples are in the same situation as you right now. So talk it out.
Hopeful parents – I wish you all the love and happiness in this world and am sending you copious amounts of baby dust.